Recently, a few bloggers wrote about how the things you say affect those around you....and I've been thinking about that a lot lately.
Words.
So easily said...yet they sit like leaves on the surface of the water...and slowly...ever so slowly, settle. Sometimes they hurt...sometimes they boost you--all depends on who is saying what, you know? Most times, I don't even think about what I'm saying or how it affects those around me....I'm sure you do the same, no?
And while you may think that the words you say don't matter--they do. I'm telling you, I can tell you who said something particularly odd or cruel to me back 30 years ago--some things just sit there forever. Or I can remember the stupid stuff I've said to others as well. Criminy, why is the bad stuff always so easy to remember?
A co-worker told me this story yesterday and it made me laugh:
Corporate guy comes in from a meeting with the CEO and he's all excited because the head honcho actually gave him a compliment--something he's definitely not known for. He quotes the CEO talking to him, "Fred, you are not as dumb as I thought you were!"Sigh. I guess that's about as good as it gets with that guy and Fred was happy with that. Heck, I guess it could have been worse, right? Still...it was nasty...no matter how it was delivered. I'm just glad Fred laughed it off--or did he?
With the weather so gloomy and winter hanging on just a tad too long, I find that I'm a wee bit sensitive to words these days. While I can blow off idiotic comments about me on most days, I find I'm buggin' out about this or that...letting others get into the craw and mess with the soul. I'm sure that once the sunshine returns and the weather starts to break, I'll find my armor once again. But for now...I'm working on letting it all slide.
"Working on it" are the keys words in that sentence.
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16 comments:
Good stuff. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." The kids' mantra sufficed to help us retaliate when we weren't clever enough (or mean enough) to respond in a hurtful way. But it is one of the dumbest lines in the language.
Lin, I hear ya about the weather. Over here more snow is predicted and cold temps way past Easter. Sigh.
As for words, well, they certainly are powerful. I tend to react more to the way they are said...
I think we can be overly sensitive both to what we say and what others say to us...staying silent when angry is useful tho - things said in anger can often be the truest and the most hurtful...
Bones heal, words cut and scar. I remember things from childhood too. They just don't leave us.
Sometimes memory loss is a positive...
Goat hugs
Have I failed to mention that hip-waders offer good protection against more than water-logging?
I've learned that holding your tongue, especially when you're mad is a fine art that must be mastered.
Funny thing, my husband and I were talking about the same thing just last week. I hate the way that negative comments can just eat away at your soul....for days, weeks and yes sometimes even years. You can have the most wonderful things said to you, but it's the bad stuff that stays with you. I agree, that is so something that I have to work on as well!
I remember bad things said to me when I was little and it frustrates me to no end that I give that stuff power that it shouldn't have. I guess I need to find that armor too!
Vanilla--Yeah, what a ridiculous saying, eh? Think about when you were in junior high--remember what they said about you? I do. Still.
Duni--See, I think about the words. How did they mean that? Were they "joking" or did they mean it? I think about things way too much.
Grace--Oh yeah. Ask my mom. We say hurtful stuff to each other sometimes when we are mad. Not good.
Liz--Nope. I hated middle school. But I think everyone did--because of how mean kids were at that age.
Patty--Dang! Jealous of that, Patty!
Jerry--No, Fish. They do NOT protect you from mean stuff people say.
Ann--I dunno. I'm really, really good at saying everything I want to say when I'm mad. Or not so mad. Or not mad at all. Sometimes you gotta say it...and prepare for the recourse.
Hot Rocks--Why is it that the bad stuff stays??? Sometimes I have to tell myself, out loud, that it does not matter. But still....it hurts.
Beaded Tail--Isn't it hard??! There are some days when I stand in the shower and all that stuff comes back to me. Why do we do that to ourselves???! it's crazy!
Lin, I truly believe that our words affect others. We can build them up or bring them down.
Your humor has always been a lift for me. Wish I had your gift!:)
BTW...that video reminds me of the Talking Heads. Am I wrong?
What did mom always say? "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
A good reminder!
Jean--Hi, Jean! It's scary how words really, REALLY affect us. I have to remember that when my yapper is flapping. :) The video is "They Might Be Giants"--we went to see them in concert on Saturday. They are an alternative band that has been around for over 20 years and one of my favs. You make me smile too, girlie!
Candy--No kidding!
Aw, Lin! Have an extra hug, and let it rub off some of the nasty words that might be stuck to you. Spring will come soon.
Oh boy, I actually gasped when I read, "Fred, you are not as dumb as I thought you were!"
Open mouth insert foot. There's no backpedaling your way out of that one.
Sharkey--Yeah, I'm in the dumps these days--I think I have Spring fever or something.
CG--Can't believe you are the only person who mentioned that. And no, it was not a slip of the tongue--that person is mean and says stuff like that AND they mean it. So, really, that WAS a compliment coming from their mouth.
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