Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Phone call for Annette Funicello.....

I found it hilarious that the row of maple lockers at the Fancy Fit was humming yesterday.  I stood there, wrestling myself into my suit, and all I could hear was the humming of someone's cell phone in the lockers.  mmmmmm.....mmmmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmmm.....mmmmmmmm.  Hello?! Your locker is ringing!

One of the lane markers has been broken at the pool, so lanes are sort of sketchy at best these days.  For the more serious swimmers, this does not pose a problem--we are fixated on that blue line at the bottom of the pool anyway.  Those that don't stick their faces in the water can see the swimmers and stay clear--it's relatively a non-contact sport.

Well, it's supposed to be.

Enter the young babe in the pool area--all dolled up in a bikini. And I'm not talking tankini--nope--this was a full-blown vacation/beach bikini.  White teeny, tiny bottoms and pink ruffled string bikini top--not typical fare for the local Fancy Fit athletic center.  "Annette Funicello" was ready for Beach Blanket Bingo apparently--she had her long dark hair swooped to one side, braided and hanging down the side of her shoulder.  There was no swim cap or goggles to be found--a sure sign that she was there for....I dunno....a little dip in the pool???

So, while I continued my mile swim, I kept an eye on this goof as she slid into the water and then  splashed like a fool for 2 or three laps.  The only reason I had to watch her was because she apparently didn't open her eyes as she swam and she was rebounding off the wall and the lone lane marker as she motored along.  While it was ridiculous, it was also dangerous because she was swimming like a madwoman, splashing like the dickens and swimming right into all of us. 

Then she got out of the water and sat, all pretty like, in the hot tub.  And then she'd repeat the whole thing again.  I think she did a total of 6 laps and finally left--but it was the most dangerous 6 laps I have ever witnessed.  I'm still trying to figure out the get-up.  I mean, who wears a cute bikini to the local health club?

Apparently, Annette Funicello does.

Criminy, I hope she doesn't come back.  I'm lucky I got out without a black eye from that maniac.

I completed my swim and stood there dripping and spinning the numbers on my combination lock when I heard it again...

mmmmmmmmmm.....mmmmmmmm.....mmmmmmmmmmmm...

Good lord.

16 comments:

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

That's probably what I'd look like swimming laps. Minus the bikini, of course ;-)

vanilla said...

So you have moved from the lane-hogging elderly for the maniacally frolicsome youngster.

Grace said...

They seem to follow you about - lane hoggers/sloppy swimmers...

Duni said...

The worst time to go swimming at our local pool is early mornings - every single lane taken up by retired people!

Secondary Roads said...

Some days a body just can't win. There must be a reason, perhaps a natural law, that explains that. Right?

Nancy said...

Hahahahhaha....you hate to discourage newcomers to your sport, but I getcha, those who enter with no clue about pool etiquette are so ANNOYING!

Bossy Betty said...

OH! That was me! Hey, could you answer my cell phone for me next time? Thanks.

Patty Woodland said...

Well, if she got a date she accomplished her Fancy Fit goal

Marg said...

That is hysterical. I have a big picture of that babe. There are all kinds in this world and you met one of the really different ones. At least it was entertaining for ya and you didn't get hurt. LOL

Candy C. said...

ROTFL!!

Ann said...

I was thinking pretty much the same as Patty. She must have been trying to score a date

BeadedTail said...

If I looked good in a bikini, I'd wear one to the health club!

silverthoughts2 said...

Isn't November a bit early for those people heading for the gym after making New Years resolutions?

red dirt girl said...

I applaud you for regular excursions to the gym ..... Annette Funicello had me laughing my socks off! It reminded me of one summer weekend when the kids were small, and we headed out en familia to the local pool. Right there in the midst of the 'kiddie area' floated .... well, yeah, they floated in a leopard print, barely there bikini top. Obviously the owner of these fabulous pair of floaters was quite pleased with her purchase. All the dads hanging around and stealing surreptitious looks definitely were!!

As for the rest of us moms in various mom suits ..... yeah, we were laughing. We knew how ridiculous she was going to look in ten years when the fab floaters floated while the rest of her sags - LOL!

xxx

Petula Wright said...

Well I suspect and assume she's completely clueless when it comes to exercising and athletics and that's the only suit she owns. *snickering* She has made it her mission to at least get a little cardiovascular in and although she doesn't know how to swim that well she's determined to make a go of it. We should applaud her efforts. *still snickering*

Sharkbytes said...

Annette was cuter, and I think she could swim better than that!