Tuesday, November 20, 2012

And it's only the beginning.....

What I find so frustrating about this time of year is having to run to the store for a quick something and you are met with crowds and long lines.   It's just that everything becomes more....you know...difficult.  There is no zipping in for this or just running in for that.  Every outing is .....exhausting.

Criminy, I had to run out last night to get some things for our Thanksgiving dinner at work.  I'm thrilled (not) at the prospect of another dinner this week.....why we had to have one, I don't know.  It's not like we don't have enough parties or dinners at that place as it is, but there I was, dreading the thought of planning another dinner and having to go into a grocery store 2 days before Thanksgiving yet. Ugh.

And yes, the grocery store was jam packed.  I was not a happy camper.

Joe and I tried our damnedest to squeak by this cart and that one.  We zipped past slow-pokes in the drink aisle and scooted past the empty Hostess display.  We dodged entire families and bored stockboys.  We were nearly breaking land-speed records and on our way out the door when we got caught behind Scooter Lady.

It never fails.

Why is it that when you want to get somewhere in the store.....need to get somewhere in the store....that's when those damn scooter people get directly in front of you and drive really, really slow.  Ugh.

Joe zigged to the right....she pulled the scooter to the right.  Joe zagged to the left....she went to the left.  We couldn't ditch the babe no matter what we did.

Joe finally snipped over his shoulder to me "Turn right!  GO!" and he nearly  made it clear of the scooter when she made a sharp right.....right in front of him and cut him off at the knees. It was ugly--but a good scooter move, I have to say.

Joe was gonna kill her.

We followed her down the aisle, but then got stuck behind Scooter Lady when she got caught up in a cart jam--two cars were staggered in the aisle and preventing her from moving forward. So, I did the mature thing....instead of pushing ahead of her, I stepped to the side and moved one of the carts for her so she could move forward.  But of course the maturity ended there...

as she waited for me to get out of the way, I said to her........"Punch it, Chewie!"

and she gunned it past me while Joe just stood there laughing.  Then she stopped, turned around to look me square in the eyes and said....

"That made my day. Thanks for the laugh."  and she wasn't mad or nuthin'.  We all had a good chuckle and went on with our hell trip through the grocery store.

 
Humor. It's the only way to survive this madness called "holidays."  Now to just remember that....













24 comments:

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I won't go in places like Sam's Club until after Christmas is over. It's just too crazy and I hate the lines and crowds and crazy people.

Duni said...

Oh dear.
We only get crowds like that shortly before Christmas, but by then I already have all the shopping done! I like to get that done early :)

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Can't. Stand. Those. Scooters. And I hope I never need one either!

Sherrie said...

Around here, it's the traffic that gets crazy. It's like November 1st hits, and all chaos breaks loose. Traffic for DAYS! I can't stand it. The shopping...well, I typically only go with an agenda and a list. LOL! :)

Secondary Roads said...

Please tell me that the geezer on the flying carpet isn't the Mean Old Man just buzzing around the neighborhood to tick you off. Cause that would just be too much. :)

Patty Woodland said...

S'why I'm glad I live in the middle of nowhere. When your town only has 14 people in it the crowd ain't so bad.

Re: Stick. Just make sure the string is tacky like faux leather or something like that and it should hold. And there is always duck tape. Duck tape will stick to anything. Just duck tape that string onto Stick!

Katnip Lounge said...

ha ha ha! I offered to help a lady pack her groceries the other day (it was BUSY at the store) and she nearly fainted with appreciation. It's good to know some folks have a sense of humor and humanity.

Diana - FreeStyleMama said...

YES! It's all of a sudden crowded this week...and I try to get my shopping done before 10am. Still standing in line. But no stores, overeating, and then laying around for a LONG weekend will be *SO* worth it!

vanilla said...

Humor saves the day! You guys are good.

Grace said...

I hate grocery stores, I hate grocery shopping. I hate all shopping, I hate all stores. I do NOT ever have a sense of humor about the experience. That said, I cracked up the cashier at Trader Joe's with my description of the typical TJ's customer. Not pretty.

Nice that scooter lady had a sense of humor...

Mary Ann said...

I had to laugh Lin because my sister-in-law is a scooter lady. She was recently on TV in Britain on a show called Fool Britannia. It's like a Candid Camera type of thing. The joke was that a safety inspector wanted to give her a ticket for speeding in her scooter. My SIL does not suffer fools lightly and they had to bleep her several times....LOL

Candy C. said...

A sense of humor definitely comes in handy this time of year. Our town isn't very big (but a LOT bigger than Patty's!) and I gotta tell ya', it's been gettin' purty crazee crowdid down to the WalMart lately!! ;)

Ann said...

LOL I think tomorrow when I go to work I'm going to be checking the isles carefully to see if anything like this happens. I'm going to be needing a good laugh tomorrow

Catherine said...

I always get mad when "seniors" are shopping on Saturday while us 'working stiffs' are trying to buy our weekly stuff. Really granny? You've had all darn week to do that!!!!

Harumph....
xo Catherine

Hot Rocks said...

Ha....you gotta laugh when it's that crazy, or you will just end up a grumpy ol grinch!

Lin said...

Lisa--Me too. I have a long list of places to avoid during the holiday season. When the kids were little, I would be done buying AND wrapping by Thanksgiving so we could just enjoy the holidays.

Duni--When the kids were little, I would do it early. Now they don't know what they want so early in the month. Ugh.

Diane--I'm not sure which comes first--scooter or obesity. Hey! There's a good one for your weight posts! Seriously...it's a dangerous combo.

Sherrie--I feel your pain with the traffic. My route home from work consists of many strip malls and malls in general. It's a nightmare starting now. Thanks for reminding me. :(

Chuck--Oh, thank goodness MOM doesn't have one of these! I would have to snap the wheels off.

Patty--Okay, I'm gonna mess with Stick and see what I can rig up. P.S. I'm gonna move to your 'hood.

Katnip--Ooooh, you are a good soul. I just teased that lady--not quite as nice as you are. :) Keep up the good work.

Diana--Oh, I'm jealous. I miss my days of being able to go to stores early.

Vanilla--I'm glad she got it. It's fun when someone gets your humor.

Grace--Me too--hate shopping. I do a lot online and will continue to do so.

Mary Ann--I would LOVE to see that!

Candy--I like to talk to the cashier's too because I think everyone else is just all business. I think the cashiers must be going crazy too, don't you think?

Ann--"Punch it, Chewie" is a good one....especially if they get the Star Wars insinuation. I love when others get my humor. let me know if something good happens at work.

Catherine--No kidding. Drives. Me. Nuts. I hate that they are all out driving really, really slow....with their dogs. Ugh.

Hot Rocks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BeadedTail said...

Punch it, Chewie! Hahahaha! That's funny! You're so funny!

Lin said...

Hot Rocks--Yeah, I just hope I can remember that during the entire holiday season!

Beaded Tail--I was crackin' up that she got the reference. :)

Petula Wright said...

"Punch it, Chewie" ?? I've never heard that before, but I sure can imagine you saying it.

Amber went to the store for me yesterday because I refuse to go a week before Thanksgiving. I won't even talk to people who I think are going to ask me to go to the store for something! LOL'

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! :-)

Sharkbytes said...

Ah yes. I'm headed for the store in just a few minutes. Thanks for reminding me to take my sense of humor. And of course I loved the Star Wars references.

Nancy said...

That's awesome!!! I'm so glad to hear she had a sense of humor about it- it would have made for a really really cranky moment if not. I love how your stories always end with a moment of grace via laughs:)

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

I live in a house with two women who could make gazillions as NFL defensive backs. For it doesn't matter which way I want to go, my wife and her mother will beat me to the point, and in a house with room for only one way of travel at a time, it really gets to me at times.

Lin said...

Petula--Star Wars. Hans Solo says it to Chewbacca before they hit light speed. It's funnier now, eh? ;) Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

Sharkey--I think you have to mentally prepare for stores from here on out. It helps maintain a less-frazzled me.

Nancy--Well, I love when people get it when I'm silly. And yeah, it could have been ugly!

Jerry--Aw, gees, Jerry...that doesn't sound good. Maybe you could just fake them out every so often, you know, just to mess with them. Like this "oh, I think I'm gonna get up and get a drink of water" and watch them get up instead. maybe if you do that enough they'll quit the battle. ;)