I met Jan in 2nd grade and Cheryl in 6th--but it seems like yesterday. Until we drag out the photos and the yearbooks--then we remember that it was more than a few years ago that we first hung out. Oh, those old photos are fodder for snickers.
So, there we sat, telling stories about ourselves and our former classmates, dishing on who's up to what these days and.....well.....who got chubby. Or bald. Or chubby and bald. At one point, Cheryl said to me "I don't even remember you in middle school, Lin" to which I replied "Oh, thank god." I was a hot mess in middle school, but who wasn't, right?
I found it enlightening that in my absolute worst years of my life, when you think everyone in the world is judging you and focusing on what a slobbering idiot you were.......pretty much nobody was noticing. Gees, I just wish I knew that back then. And I wish I could make this happy feeling of inconsequence last forever--it sure is liberating. Oh, to think nobody remembered (or they were too polite to say it) what a dork I was!
I've posted a photo of 8th grade me on the night of my middle school graduation. I'm standing with a friend who probably doesn't remember who I am, or was. The reason why I post this is because he has since gone on to greater things, things that I never expected of him. We remained friendly in high school and he was involved in theater like I was, but I can't say I ever thought of him as a great talent or anything. He was just in the plays and so was I. I don't even remember him having a starring role or anything. He was just a nice guy I remember knowing a long time ago.
It's funny how those years are sort of a wash in remembering what anybody else did in those awkward years. Oh, I can tell you handfuls of silly, foolish things that I did to embarrass myself, but I can't tell you for the life of me, what Jan, Cheryl, or Bill did back in those days. I just remember thinking that everyone else was so put together while I was a mess.
I wish I knew that none of it matters 30 years later and that my mother was right when she said that everyone was more concerned with themselves and wouldn't notice what I was doing. Inconsequential is good, you know?
18 comments:
Oh yes, middle school memories make me shudder too!!
They didn't have middle school when I was a kid - it was mostly K-8, then on to high school. I also don't remember much, if any, bullying and I would have been a prime target for that sort of behavior. Kids got teased, of course but I never remember it being as nasty as what it is reported these days. I do believe I grew up in a kinder gentler time...not that I am all nostalgic about the "good old days" - that was then, this is now - I prefer now.
Wow! You knew a successful and famous person "back when." He's driven, all right. I guess that and his smile got him where he is today.
That period of time between twelve and twenty is not a place to dwell on too much; but thank you for sharing. I guess we all had our problems.
I hated middle school - I arrived from the city, from a Catholic school no less into a public school full of kids that had started together from kindergarten.
I was chubby and wore glasses and god forbid, I was smart. And coming from that Catholic school I raised my hand and answered the questions 'cause if you didn't you got your hand slapped with a ruler or an eraser thrown at your head. Who knew you weren't supposed to answer the questions in public school?
Not me.
Nothing like being chubby, wearing glasses and being smart in middle school in front of all new people.
OY.
I didn't recover until I went to college where I wasn't chubby or wearing glasses any longer and it was OK to be smart.
Lin,
It sounds like a lot of fun...I went to a small school with K-12 gr. in one building. We were surrounded by corn fields and 80% of the kids we were in Kindergarten with we graduated with. We had some great friends...I still keep in touch via facebook....
You couldn't possibly have been more of a geek than I was, I assure you. Fortunately everyone kind of was, I think!
not only was I a mess way back then I think I still am. The only difference is now I don't care :)
my grandmother insisted that everyone was looking at me- at my scuffed shoes and uncombed hair and jeans and glasses and WHATEVER. I finally decided I didn't care because that was who I was, and then I found out... decades later that it's like you said... no one cared except as a means to torment me, which they mostly don't even remember doing. We do all that crummy stuff to ourselves.
I am just wondering, who is the lady in the background wearing the dark top with the white jacket looking on with such a disapproving expression!?
Lisa--I'm just relieved that nobody remembers my awkward years as much as I do. How long is it before I forget???
Grace--I think they split up the middle school I went to--it's now a 7-8, rather than a 6-8. I wonder if that makes it better? or worse? those pre-teen years were hard because of how awkward and lumpy I was. Now I realize that most of us had that feeling. Why didn't I know that back then?
Vanilla--I was really surprised when I heard that he was a big shot with Dreamworks. Not that he wasn't nice enough--I was just surprised at how creative and motivated he ended up being. Isn't that a nice success story? I just remember him as being nice.
Pricilla--Wow. That's some baggage. Don't worry, my kid raised his hand and answered the questions too....in PUBLIC school. And he is a BOY! That equals big trouble for him. It wasn't any easier for him either, pally. What is with that?? I think you make a fine adult. :)
Tracy--We were with the same kids until 6th grade, then we were mixed in. High school came with more kids--it was a nice adjustment. That's fun that you still keep in touch. I like that too. There is just something about having a history with folks.
Liz--Uh oh. I think we should have a middle school Dork Fest! Ooooh, that could be fun!! :P Or scarring. Hahaha!
Ann--Yeah, how far are we from that 13-year old me? Do we just grow to accept and embrace the inner dork? Does anyone not see themselves as a dork, I wonder?
Sharkey--Oh, gees, Sharkey. That's nasty. And that was your GRANDMOTHER?? wow. I understand beating yourself up...but your Gramma??? Come here, I'll give ya a "gramma" hug and some warm cookies to make up for it. And I'll tell you how pretty you are, my friend. :)
Daisy--Yeah! Don't you LOVE that??! Makes you wonder where his hand is! Hahaha! I don't think he is interested in girls so I'm not sure why we are getting the stink-eye. It's funny though!
I have horrible memories of grade school, middle school and high school. I think that's why I moved away from my hometown as soon as I could and never looked back. It's pretty cool that you knew the Dreamworks guy way back then!
Beaded Tail--I did too, so imagine my surprise that I found out someone didn't even remember me! Hooray! I'll bet nobody remembers all that much about you. Maybe all that they remember is that you were nice. I hope so! Isn't that funny that Bill is a big shot now???
It is a relief when you realize it doesn't matter what happened during the school years.
Bill has done well. Now about my cartoon...:)
the thing i remember was how big the world seemed . i go back and see the old school every now and then and it is tiny . the baseball fields where i played little league seemed like yankee staduim back then are just some small field on a corner lot . even high school going from Reavis in Burbank to Lincoln Way high school for a football game seemed like we just travel to Kentucky .
I don't remember much about the high school days. But that is true, I think everyone was so self involved, they probably didn't notice us at all. Good thing as far as I am concerned. Take care
Looking back, I wonder... why can't we just skip middle school... ugh. Everyone looked sooo bad. LOL
Jean--I wish I could forget all those bad memories as easily as everyone else!
Paul--Isn't that odd how that happens? Everything seems so small now.
Marg--I just wish that I didn't remember all the bad stuff from back then! Do you think the "cool" kids think that they were dorks too? I wonder?
Diane--Aren't those our "formative" years? Maybe it's a phase we have to go through to make us appreciate that it is over. :)
Is that a Dorothy Hamil hairdo?
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