What Talent that Wee Toe Has!

Well, I went to the foot doctor for my surgical consult yesterday and it was very informative.  It's sort of creepy what they have to do to straighten your toe, but nobody makes a big deal out of it--kind of reminds me of that darn chemical peel I just had done. (Warning, Will Robinson)

So, my doctor shows me on a boney foot skeleton what they are gonna do and he draws on paper to make it feel like a football play.

"Okay, we are gonna make an incision on the top of the toe--here." He is explaining.  "Then we cut the bone off here and put a pin in there--here and here." And he draws a dark spot where my bone is no longer gonna be.

"Then we keep that pin sticking out of your foot for 2 weeks and you have to wear a surgical shoe..." Yeah...I've got one of those already. Good thing I saved mine, eh?

Then he drops the bomb on me, all nonchalantly.  And as he did, I died a little death. And the world got a little less bright.  My heart sunk and I wasn't so excited about my straight toe anymore.

You see, I am going to lose the middle bend of my toe during this process. Oh, I will be able to bend my toe at the bottom and very top joints, but that middle one will be straight forever.  And while I will be able to point my toes for my ballerina career, I will be forced to accept the most terrible thing ever......

I will never be able to pinch anyone with my toes again.

There. I said it.  This is the first step of acceptance they say.

While this may seem trivial to some, this is a big deal to me for this is my one and only talent.  Like if I was ever in the Mrs. America Pageant, this would guarantee me a win for the talent portion.  But after toe surgery, I will be forced to skip the talent portion and rely solely on my platform--which is bringing back cocktail hour--but that is a whole other story.  I'm really bummin' about not being able to pinch with my toes--it's just so darn cool.

So, you are probably thinking "who the heck cares about that?", but think of Julie Andrews who had throat surgery and can no longer sing.  What if Michelangelo had hand surgery and could no longer paint?  Baryshnikov not dancing?  See--it's awful when you think of it. An art form lost......forever.

And when I broke the news to my friend, Wendy, she just asked if I can't just do it with my other foot.  Sheesh. NO. I am right-footed and that is the only foot I can do it with!  This isn't easy, people. That is why it is a talent.

Emma and Joe were just about as thoughtful about my trauma--Em sang "Ding Dong the Pinch is Gone", which I did NOT find humorous.  Joe just asked what was for supper. Sigh.

My talent will forever disappear in the near future and nobody cares.  And when I'm dead, I can hear my family....

"Lin was great--to think she could pinch people with her toes........"  It ranks right up there with "She could make a mean meatloaf".  Sigh.

Even the doctor wasn't sympathetic.  When I told him why I was horrified, he just looked at me with big eyes like I was nuts.  He doesn't get it either.  Sheesh.

I'm gonna get in all the toe-pinching I can before my surgery. I mean, it's my last chance, right?  And I think my family should have to tolerate it because after a certain date, it's over. For good. Forever. And ever.