I'll be honest, I'm trying to avoid all things 9/11 related this weekend. I can't bear to watch the documentaries, the media coverage, the "remember when" shows--it's just all too darn sad for me. And while I remember that day and the weeks afterward, I can't spend my weekend crying--I think it gives those darn terrorists too much power over me, and I don't like that feeling.
My children were young at the time--1st and 4th grade. I was already scheduled to volunteer at the school, but my first inclination was to run there to see if they were safe. I was lucky--how many other parents probably wanted to do the same thing but were at work and couldn't leave? I physically had to go look at my children to know they were safe. It was a very odd, but scary feeling. Especially when all of the tragedy was taking place so very far away from where we were.
We had planned a Disney trip for well over a year--to take place exactly one month to the day after 9/11. Oh, you can bet your bippy that we thought about canceling that trip--my fear level was so high. How do you put your entire family on a plane after the horrible things that just transpired? And I cursed those damn terrorists, a lot. I also did an awful lot of crying--but who didn't?
After a thousand calls to Disney to figure out how to reschedule the trip, I had one rep say something profound to me. Maybe she was coached. Maybe she was told what to say. Maybe she just was a mom, I don't know--but she made my decision clear. She said to me "Maybe getting away is exactly what your family needs right now. A little bit of happy in all of this sadness."
And she was right.
And we went and escaped to the fantasy world of Disney--where nothing bad happens and the world is princesses and happy animal characters. Okay, so I was still freaking out internally and keeping an eye on the sky for suicide airplanes--I still managed to smile while we ate a cabillion Mickey Mouse ice cream bars. And I watched my children laugh again, unafraid to enjoy themselves after so many weeks of somber. It was good to be there--to let my family have fun again, without fear. It was the best decision in the world for us, to go on with that trip and to laugh in the face of terrorists. They did not win this battle.
I guess that is what I'm feeling this weekend. Oh sure, I can sit here and absorb myself back into those days of horror and fear. Or I can tap my inner Disney and not let those terrorists reclaim my fear again. I want to laugh and live, and not be afraid or sad. But that does not mean that I don't remember or I don't honor those who lost their lives that day. Quite the opposite--I'm going to enjoy our freedoms and our country this weekend to show the terrorists that they did not win that day.
Or any other day, for that matter.
12 comments:
I started a 9/11 post yesterday but I deleted it because it made me cry. I lost some people I knew that day. They were my customers that I dealt with almost every day. We had never met but some of them I had been dealing with for many years. A day that certainly changed the way we live today:(
It will always be one of those marks in history that we will always remember what we were doing that day.
Warm thoughts,
xo Catherine
One cannot mourn forever or as you said it gives too much power them.
I went into New York three weeks after for lunch and a show. My girlfriend and I had had the tickets for close to a year. We were going and that was that.
Disney was the perfect place to be for your kids during that time. I still have a hard time watching the news footage because to this day I can't wrap my head around the fact that people actually did that on purpose! It just still seems so unbelieveable that it happened. But, as you said, we can't let the terrorists win because they never will!
Our youngest son lives in NY, and watched the second tower go down from his office window, but he didn't have any radio or tv, so I would email him updates. They didn't let anyone out of his building till the next day.
Yes, we can't dwell on it all too much or the terrorists get what they wanted all along.
I was at Disney the same time as you. The airlines were begging people to fly and I had a friend in Florida so I took off to visit her. On the last day I spent the night at one of those once in your life fancy motels (thank you yahoo travel). It had those towels that were about six inches thick and I soo wanted one of them. About midnight I went down to the desk and asked the girl if I could buy one. She said no, they didn't sell their fancy towels. About a half hour later there was a knock on the door and sack with a complete set of towels and the bathmat.
I was ok until AMarie posted the Bud commercial with the horses. Just when you think you are finally back to normal 10 years later, something you haven't seen in 10 years breaks you down. I went to church today. First time since my friend who worked there died last Thanksgiving. It was time. I was ok. Time heals.
My husband reminded me today that we had just returned from a class reunion a plane ride away when it all happened. I'd forgotten about the reunion, but I haven't forgotten what happened 10 years ago.
My husbands birthday is Sept. 11, and ever year since that tragic day in 2001, we try to make an effort to avoid the TV news documentaries so that there can be a bit of " happy" in his day. We will never forget the terrible things that occurred on that day, but it is a day that we struggle with each year, as we always feel a touch of sadness, on a day that to us, should be filled with joy and celebration.
Mary Ann--It must be hard grieving for your friends--I can't imagine. And you can't even say goodbye. I'm sorry, pally. It is such a sad day, isn't it?
Catherine--Yeah, but I can't visually keep being reminded. It is so very stressful.
Pricilla--We had to go on, but it was hard. I'm sure you really experienced the devastation.
Beaded Tail--It was a good place to be. The kids were so young and to see everyone so upset was hard on them. It was a nice trip to laugh again and be somewhere where we weren't pummeled with the media coverage over and over again.
Sharkey--Wow. I'll bet his is traumatized from seeing that. While I remember and pray for those who died, I can't keep re-living the videos. It's too scary for me.
Ozark Mtn Cats--Wow.I remember how NOT crowded Disney was. We literally walked on all of the popular rides with no waiting. I kept whispering to Joe "Nuthin' like Jihad in October". But it wasn't funny--I was still very unnerved.
Helene--That was really touching. I'm glad you went back to church, Helene. :)
Marilynne--How scary! I can't imagine landing and seeing what had just transpired. Glad you are safe!
Hot Rocks--I had to avoid all of the news today too. It's just too darn sad. I'm glad you did the same for your husband. Happy Birthday to him!
I don't think anyone can ever forget that day. I can still recall my initial shock and disbelief when I switched on the TV and saw the smoking twin towers when Hubby got the news at around 8:00PM (we are 12 hours ahead of New York).We were among one of the first to know as Hubby works for an American company and were warned that his office building could be a prime target for a possible terrorist attack. I still worry 'til today.
It was 197 years ago this week that Francis Scott Key penned the words to our national anthem.
Semper Paratus
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