Joe and I rarely hang around the "backstage scene", where all the band parents help get those kids and the equipment out to the field--we are usually busy making a crowd in the stands as the built-in cheering section for our band. Saturday was a bit different because we ventured into that beehive of activity, helping here and there and sort of just dodging the mayhem whenever possible.
I quickly found out that I'm better off being the stand crowd--not for the work, but for the personalities that all come to light in the frenzy of pre-performance preparation. And I'm not talking about the kids--some band parents can be downright beastly at times. It's a good thing I'm not king because I'd have them all beheaded.
For the past two years, my mantra has been "Shut the hell up" in a goofy I'm-only-half-kidding voice to those who are getting on our nerves. This year, I've sort of progressed into "I'm gonna hafta punch you" in a silly I'm-really-almost-not-kidding voice, which Joe says I shouldn't say because it is too violent, but I'm thinking there is no other silly way to deal with some of these wienies. And I'm being kind by calling them wienies. Criminy, I don't think I can go back there by the bus again. How the band director deals with this crap, I'll never know.
Oh, maybe that is why he pretty much doesn't speak to us for the entire marching season. Now I get it.
We did well considering that we've only run through our full show 2 times--most bands didn't even perform their entire show on Saturday. We won second place in our division of 3 bands and lost by a mere point or two. But while there will be some who argue with me, I think second place is a good thing your first time out--you don't want false confidence heading into the more difficult contests. You gotta want that win and you definitely have to work for it. Winning should never be easy--there is no glory in that.
The kids--well, they are great. They hate on each other, but pull together when they need to. They are a team, a whole--with no part greater than the others.
The parents--well, this is a new breed. The old regime moved on last year and left us with too many chiefs and not enough indians. They have their little baby fits and boss everyone around........and they keep on going. If it keeps up, my friend Carrie says she's gonna get me some boxing gloves.
I'm not really gonna punch anyone, but I sure do think a lot about it.
22 comments:
And here I thought "feeling punchy" meant something totally different. Silly old man that I am . . . :)
I <3 college marching band. Just show up for performances. My son's bibbers need hemmed and he said I am not allowed to touch them. Of course, he's not taking them in for repair either.
I would help from time to time with ours, but I mostly preferred to cheer. I wonder what it will be like in 2 years when I am a HS mom again!
Your brutally honest report of band parent activity lets you vent and entertains me. Just so you know, in any loosely organized or totally disorganized group of adults, everybody wants to be chief.
Don't hit someone. ;-)
They'll work even harder because they placed second, and I also remember that the location in the state made a difference in how we were judged too. Good luck to the band this year, and to you for dealing with some of the more challenging parents. Ugh.
Wow...sounds like some of those parents are pretty serious. Maybe they should chill out a bit! Perhaps you will be a good influence on some of them.
Kinda have to leave it at murderous thoughts - Jail is such an unpleasant place and you wouldn't be able to bring your lap top!
Parents can definitely be a pain in the patooty. I find that with a lot of the activities I do, that the kids are great and I can't deal with the parents.
I never did band with my guys...it was soccer. OMG some of those parents needed to chill out. There were a few skirmishes among the parents and a few nearly came to blows...and that was the mums....eeek. Usually it was when a remark was made about one of plays if a goal was missed. The poor coach...he was a saint.
Trouble is, that's how they are raising their kids. cue "The Circle of Life"
Makes me have flashbacks to my own marching band days.
Strangely we only had about 5 parents that were active in doing anything and that mostly was being bodies over the age of 18, and one family always drove their cargo van full of gear.
Much smaller band than yours - at the biggest 60 and that's with the colorguard. Really I don't think the band director allowed the parents around while we were getting set up/warmed up. What is there for the parents to do, are they dressing their 16 yo's and tuning their instruments for them?
Be careful- in this stupid litigious age, you could get in trouble for joking around.
I ALWAYS think abut punching people :)
Ahhh memories of the good old days years ago of the hockey parents. Go get em girl!
This reminded me of our little league days and the obnoxious parents that made the whole year a real pain in the butt.
Some of those parents can get really out of control
You have no idea how happy this post made me. I was in the color guard throughout high school and ten years later, I miss it. It's about the only thing of high school I miss and your post brought back some nice memories. Thanks.
Chuck--Yeah, don't say it too loud around here these days! Hahaha!
Diana--I step in for other duties like chairing a fundraiser and doing uniform fittings and such. I'm not big on these functions because of the drama. Ugh. I'll bet it is nice at the college level not having to do it at all!
Vanilla--Our band is run strictly by our band director and it works well that way. The school made us elect an executive board, but that is in name only. Joe is the "president" this year if that is any indicator of how silly it is. But some new parents don't get all of this and are insisting on running it like a PTA. Ugh. I hope they learn soon so I don't have to hurt them.
Violet--I miss my old group of band parents--we just had fun while getting the work done. Sigh. We fully deserved second, I have to be honest. We have one song that needs some help. I hope we get it together for this weekend.
Hot Rocks--Yeah, there are some people who insist on being bossy--which doesn't work with this group. I hope they learn soon or I'm gonna be busy! Hahaha!
Grace--Oh, it's not really murder, just attitude-straightening that I'm working towards. Ugh. I've tried with comments, but I think they are not getting that.
Anne--No kidding! What is hard is that our former group just worked together and didn't have these issues. It's hard to see this kind of change. Ugh!
Mary Ann--Dads and Baseball--I get it. I never liked that part of kids activities either. I hope these parents don't ruin this group.
Pricilla--No kidding! We had one dad having a FIT because he didn't want to pay the $10 fee to get in. TEN BUCKS???! You don't have $10 bucks--and it is a fundraiser!!! He was gonna get it first.
Winnie--Hi, new pally! We just came out of a fine group of parents who had fun while getting the job done. We have a ton of equipment that needs to be moved and pushed out onto the field. Then there is all the plume-handing-out and chaperoning. No, we don't allow parents to touch instruments or help the kids get dressed. Band has really changed since our days--lots more equipment now.
Sharkey--Yeah, no kidding. I only say it in jest to those I know and trust. I'm not saying a thing to those wackos!
peewee--Me too. I think there is probably a line forming for whoever wants to punch me!! Hahaha!
Helene--Hockey parents. Baseball Dads. Soccer Moms. Dance Moms. Parents are the WORST!!
Ann--Oh yeah. Been there. But I find myself gravitating to the fun parents--and there are a lot of them out there. We had a group of parents who had fun AND worked until this year. Now I am sad to see our bunch turning into beasts.
Silverthoughts--Hi, new pally! Oh, stay tuned for more marching season photos then! Every weekend we have contests, so I'll be posting colorguard photos. I never did band, but gees, I wish I did now. Everyone who was in band really loves those band days.
Instead of punching the newbie parents, you should teach them to be cool like the old crew. Just sayin'.
Really just sayin'. I'd be Team Punch in the Face if I were you, I'm sure!
When I first went to high school they asked me if I wanted to be in the band. It was a small high school and a small band. I played piano and organ. I knew nothing about bands.
What I discovered was they put me in study hall that hour to help the librarian and almost everyone else went to the band room and had fun.
A better invitation and the knowledge that you could borrow an instrument to play would have gone a long way.
I'd love to see your kids band in action.
Cute--I have tried to encourage them to chill and have fun--the work gets done without all the fuss, but a few really have their undies in a bunch. I think my reaction lately is from the frustration of them continuing this madness. Ugh. Some people just need to create drama.
Marilynne--What is with that??! Criminy. Every band I know is anxious to get members and they'd never let you sit in study hall. Bummer. I think you missed out on some good times. I usually post a performance somewhere in Marching season. I'll wait until the kinks are worked out though to spare you the pain.
i miss that soap opera at times Lin but i do understand some of those parents think it's there band not the kids band
Paul--I always said the "shut the hell up" as a silly thing--now I MEAN it!! Some of these parents this year are so obnoxious and bossy! Oh, I miss the old gang. :( I think we were really lucky with the group of parents that we had.
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