We have this friend, Bill, who makes me laugh until my sides ache. Endlessly wacky, Bill is notorious for his high-pitched girly "Helllllooooo" when he answers the phone at his house. Those of us who know him know to say "Hi, Bill....." and go on from there. But there are those who don't know Bill and proceed to say "Hello, ma'am. May I please speak to Bill, please". To which he responds in a deep gruff voice "I'm a GUY!!". He does this all the time, and of course, we all laugh at the joke---every single time he does it. It is funny after all----when you hear him do it.
This leads me bill-paying online--which I typically like, except for the fact that I have to remember to actually hit the "Pay now" button in order to pay my bills. And while that little quirky fact actually caused me to miss my car payment due date by 8 days this month, I found myself calling the creditor this weekend to tell them the payment is on the way.
I love all this new privacy stuff because, as the bill-payer in our family, I cannot actually discuss our accounts with the utilities or creditors because they are in Joe's name as the primary account holder. I don't know what my title is, so, if there is ever a billing error or such, I have to have Joe call and deal with it. Yeah, privacy, shcmivacy. It's swell for getting things done like paying the light bill. Ugh.
Freaked out enough because I missed a car payment by 8 days in error, I made the mistake in calling the creditor to tell them payment was on the way. I wasn't calling to get credit in Joe's name, emptying our joint bank accounts, nor even unveiling his secret identity--I just wanted to tell them how I forgot to click the "pay" button and I was sending the money immediately. Silly me.
I realized after I had given them the account number, Joe's social security number, and his mother's maiden name, that they were not going to listen to me. So, I did the unthinkable---I pulled a "Bill"--I said I was Joe. With a girly voice, no less.
While the dude absolutely did not believe that I was Joe, he listened politely as I rambled on and on about online bill-paying and how I have never missed a bill in my life and how I am mortified and how the payment is coming electronically in a day and could he please waive the fee and please check our payment history and he could see that we always pay on time and we always pay more than our actual bill and....
And I wanted to scream "I'm a GUY!!" so that he'd just listen and put the notes in our file so we don't get a collection call or something.
Now I'm thinking that maybe Bill's got something there and it's not so silly after all.
21 comments:
Can you not have the bills in both names? That way either of you can contact them?
I work in a financial institution so I do understand the privacy stuff. Not meaning that it still isn't a pain in the butt!!!! :(
Good luck Lin!
xo Catherine
What a relief after reading the title to find the post was about bill paying and not surgical procedures.
Yes! This is so true, about the privacy stuff... On one hand I get it on the other, annoying. But when it's the same household its a giant pain. But they if you have the last four of the socail you can access, but then your giving that info out. I mean. Thats not good either.
bah.
oh. you won the make up!
hehehehe, I was about to tell you to just say you were Joe, and you did. I have been Kevin a whole lot in my lifetime. All I can say is they drive us to the lie.
I have the same problem with the phone bill pay. Blast it! I can't do ANYTHING anymore. But what a great idea to PRETEND!!!
8 days isn't even in the window of them sending out a late notice. I really wouldn't worry
I got a hoot out of this. Did you pretend to call "Joe" to the phone before you switched voices?
For years M-i-L used to cash F-i-L's pay check. One time F-i-L signed his own check and the bank called saying that it wasn't his signature. :)
I can't believe you even tried that, although I must admit it's rather clever!
I've never pretended to by my husband but I did pretend to be my boss - a lovely lady with a pronounced accent - I'm sure after I left the company and she had to make her own phone calls people doubted that she was she, after all they were expecting me...
And, everything is in my name except one utility bill - I always put one on my husband's name so he had something to prove where he lives - tho when we moved here we actually brought the mortgage papers to the DMV so we could get out id and stuff...
If I die before him he is in a boatload of trouble because I pay everything on-line and even get the bills via email...
EEKKKK! That's so frustrating Lin! Perhaps it's time to switch the accounts over into your name? I know that's time consuming, and well, down right stupid, but it could help in the long run. Or, I guess...just start using a deep man voice on the phone.
When Wade and I got married he moved into my house so all the bills are in my name. He'll call one of the creditors for something and they won't talk to him since his name isn't on the bill. I can't hear on the phone so I have to get on the phone, tell them I'm half deaf and could you please discuss this with my husband. Drives me nuts. It's stupid really
I so don't like dealing with all the privacy stuff especially when it's for something that isn't even related to anything super private like you calling to tell them the payment is on the way. I think the customer service people love it though since they don't have to deal with us.
Catherine--I notified every utility, every creditor years ago, in writing, to add both names to the account. Some did, some didn't--said they "couldn't", so I am stuck. It's crazy--I'm telling them I am PAYING the bill for goodness sake!
Chuck--That's why I put it in quotes! Sorry for the scare, Chuck!
Tracy--It's madness! I mean, I can see there are situations, but this wasn't one of them. I was paying them for goodness sake! Thanks for the prize!!! My eyelids are very excited to be spiffed up.
Jodi--It's not like I was emptying the bank account or anything--I just wanted to tell them the payment was coming! Sheesh. It's soooo ridiculous. Good to know I'm not alone in this.
Rebecca--My name is on the account, but he is the primary, which means only he can call. ????? What is with that??!
Pricilla--I got TWO late notices AND a phone call! That is why I was freaking out. I've never had that happen before....EVER! EEEK!
Betty--Oh, I should have! That is a GREAT idea! Or I should have gotten my friend Bill on--he has a higher voice than me!
Chuck--Hahaha! I don't think I could forge a signature--now THAT would be lying. ;)
Violet--Frustration drives you to new heights....or lows. It's just ridiculous. I was calling about PAYING them!
Grace--That's what I'm afraid of---what if something happens to Joe?? How do we communicate with these creditors and utilities??? It's crazy.
Nancy--Years ago, we wrote letters requesting that my name be added to all of our utilities and creditors. There are a few that won't talk to me because I'm not the primary account holder. Silly because I'm the one who pays the bills! Ugh.
Ann--There is no more common sense, I'm telling you. Remember the old days when Mrs. Jim Smith was acceptable. Ugh. We've come far, right???? Nah.
You must have 2 or 3 personnas up your sleeves... you just need standard voices to go with them.
I work as a representative so I understand that there are security reasons behind it. As for our company, as long as the caller can verify the important account information then we can proceed.
Hey, I apologize if I confused you with my name. I can be called either way- June Zach or Zach June. But I made a decision so when I comment in your blog, I'll stick with June Zach. Thanks for the heads up Lin! :D
Take care!
Be assured that I feel your pain when it comes to having to deal with someone over-the-phone in such a situation. For cable account is actually in my mother-in-law's name (it's very long and painful story), but I am the one who usually deals with them when something needs to be fixed.
On top of that, our Internet service through them is now being paid for by the people my wife works for at home. Furthermore, when I would to try to explain all of that to someone in the Philippines or India, they would come back with, "Our records show that you do not even have Internet access at that address." Well, it turned out that we technically didn't for a certain period of time. For when her company took over our Internet account, Mediacom didn't change the modem, which was reasonable, since it still worked. Ah, but it started to not work at times, and when that happened, no modem would show up at our address when they went to ping it.
Is your head hurting? Mine is.
Sharky--I have given up trying different voices--I have a deep voice already, so I just use my own. Too bad they still don't believe me. Ugh.
June Zach--Thanks for the name clarification. :) Boy, I was confused! I can see there are situations for privacy, but PAYING the account???! That is silly. And frustrating for us!
Fish--OMG. I think I would just leave the cable and internet broken. Can't even imagine the hell that is to call them and explain all that!!! Yikes!
My mom had to go through this for ages after my dad died. You think they'd just let you PAY the bill regardless of who you are. Ugh. It's ridiculous really.
As for pretending to be a guy, I think that's brilliant! And then, when the customer service (ha!) rep says anything about you NOT being Joe, act all mortified and go off on how no one believes you're a man...
If nothing else, it might make you feel better :)
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