Every February, our Jazz Band holds a fundraiser Dinner Dance at a local banquet hall. It is a great evening of good food, a few cocktails, the rockin' Jazz Band, raffle prizes and a silent auction. This is our largest fundraiser of the year and everyone attends decked out and ready for fun.Joe gets ready to win some major prize--every stinking year.
His quest for the Big Win started a few years ago with his score of the Mutha of all Prizes. While it is a long read, you might consider taking a few minutes as then you can appreciate that it isn't all Joe that does the tolerating in this family. I've been known to put up with a few things in my day as well.
Ever since he landed the big fish at that one Dinner Dance, Joe mentally gets ready for what he's gonna score each year before he goes now. And then he peruses the raffle tables like a shark eyeballing his intended victim. It's ridiculous and nobody notices but me--which drives me even more crazy than I already am with his antics.
Last year, as he was drinking a cocktail and yakking it up by the Silent Auction table, the chairwoman corralled him into upping the bids--essentially writing in high dollar amounts to light the competitive fire in the bidders. So, Joe, the sucker, does just that---on nearly all of the prize packages.
I'll tell you he was sweating bullets when the Silent Auction winners were being announced. I think we would have owed a pretty penny to the band if others didn't step up and bail his butt out. This happened the year before to our pally, Wendy--girlfriend got soaked for hundreds of dollars worth of prizes that she didn't necessarily want or could possibly use.
Her warning apparently fell on deaf ears.
So, thinking he's in for it, Joe got lucky and only won one prize package--a night stay at the hotel around the corner from our house. Not kidding. I mean, the question wasn't whether or not we would use it, it was do we drive or do we walk there to claim our prize?
Guess where we were last Friday night? Yeah, sitting in a king-size bed watching HBO on a huge flat screen TV--in a hotel less than 3 blocks from our house. We are idiots.
The Dinner Dance is in two weeks, but already, Joe is talking about what he's going to try to win. Sigh. Just once I wanna hear "Poor Lin". Just once.
18 comments:
I'd say poor Lin but I can't stop laughing long enough.
I remember the coffee pot story when I went back through lots of posts when I first came here. For anyone who hasn't gone through Lin's posts-its a wild trip-try it!
I wanna go!!! Just to see what Joe wins. You have ALL the fun.
Well, did you walk or did you drive?
wv: hobless Oh, no!
They say a change of scenery is good...so was the hotel worth it!
Not gonna hear it from me - The last line of your other story totally had me rolling - Nope, no sympathy from me. Yay Joe!
Hey, at least you didn't have to make the bed.
Hehee. I guess it's just that dang competitive spirit that lights the fire under men. At least he's not blowing stacks in Vegas or something;)
Poor Lin. It must be hard to be married to someone so completely AWESOME!!!
I would kill for a night away in a hotel around the corner. Hey, I know... how about you win a trip to sunny FL to watch some ahole kids and I'll take that trip?
aw Poor Lin. well what was it, walk or drive?
A night away from home sounds like a lot of fun! Bonus that it's so close because you wouldn't have to pack since you can just walk home in the morning to get ready! Great win Joe! :)
Helene--I'm thinking you can go instead of me, Helene. And you can roll your eyes while everyone laughs and thinks Joe is sooooo funny. Ugh.
Vanilla--I don't like that word verification. :( We drove, Vanilla. We had suitcases that I didn't want to drag thru the snow. Seriously, suitcases.
Hot Rocks--The king size bed was worth it!! I wish we had one at home. I had sooo much room!
Grace--Oh no! Not you too, Grace!
Pricilla--Yeah, and a brunch was included in the win! It was nice, I just wish we were further away than 2 blocks from home.
Nancy--OMG! And Joe is probably the least competitive guy I know! But when he gets there, he turns into a MONSTER!!
Casey--Hey, at least it is warm where those ahole kids are! I could take them to the beach and bury them up to their little necks in the sand. Hee! Hee!
Ann--If we didn't have SUITCASES, we could have walked. Yeah, suitcases. Ridiculous, eh?
Beaded Tail--We DID pack!! Isn't that ridiculous!! I didn't want it to look like it was a one night stand. ;)
Oh boy. I gasped when I read that he wrote in high amounts on EVERYTHING! I would have lost at least five pounds in sweat.
Umm, how can any of the bidders know what the others have offered in a silent auction? Could it be that your chairwoman is a little ethically-challenged? Of course, as long as it is for the kids...
My husband would NEVER do that because I would tell him not to and he would listen to me! That is scary! At least you won something you could easily enjoy. I'd like that it was close enough to walk, us being the homebodies that we are!
Ok I'll go. I always think husbands are hysterical...as long as they're not mine....
That's hilarious. Wow.
Did you walk? You could have imagined you were in another city, strolling to your hotel for a peaceful night away. Just don't leave a forwarding address or number :)
CG--I wasn't freaking nearly as much as he was.
Fish--They have the bidding amounts on a sheet in front of the prize so you can up it as the evening goes along. It's "silent" in as much as it is all just upped on paper. And yes, the idea that it is for the band and the kids.
Karen--Yeah, I thought Joe listened to me too, but alas, he does not. It ended up being a nice prize after all.
Helene--Joe's a good one, Helene. You just gotta find a good one!
Jen--Oh, it could have been all kinds of scenarios, but in the end, it was us on a king size bed watching HBO on a big screen TV. It was nice. :)
OMG, what a good belly laugh you just gave me...and about the TV? Well, even next door might be fun for me--I don't have TV at the house...and every so often....nah!
Poor Lin, I do have some nice prizes this year at the raffle table, 87" Stainless Steel Patio Gas Heater (could be used during the bonfire night, just saying), a fireplace/firepit (we are wearing the old one thin, so maybe Joe could spend more time at my table verses the silent auction. See you Friday night, and make sure Joe brings lots of money!
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