Do most people have photos of themselves sitting at their desk at work? I think not. But I do....thanks to Irene, the best co-worker of the universe. You can tell we work really, really hard, can't you?I guess it was imminent, but Jim is tossing bout the "R" word these days. Irene and I are polite and talk to him about retirement, but deep down, we are bummin'. You see, it is only the three of us back there in that room and losing Jim is gonna be like losing the helium out of your snappy new balloon. We are just sort of anticipating the deflation.
Irene and I have talked about it and we have decided that if Jim absolutely HAS to go, then we absolutely have to replace him with some good-looking, young dude with a cute butt. Well, Irene added that part. I just want him to smell good. (I've been on that kick lately, have you noticed?)
So, when I hear Jim offering suggestions of folks to hire for his job, he was naming this dame or that one. And a "Oh, hey, what about her?" And I was all like "WHAT?! Why are we looking for chicks??!" and then I had to call in Irene for reinforcements. I mean, he's leaving--why don't we have say in who gets to hang with us in Cube 1? We are the ones stuck with whoever is gonna warm his seat. Sheesh.
The requirements are as follows:
- cute
- not Hispanic. Irene says she wants to be the only Latin Spice of the office.
- go pick up the office lunches every day (Jim does that now)
- be willing to sing the "labelmaker" song with us
- killer bod
- smell nice
- dress nicely so we can oogle him each day
- maybe have some accounting skills and tax knowledge so he can help Irene
- have some knowledge of old movies, politics, cable TV, and obscure references to laugh with me in the mornings
I think that covers it nicely. All qualified applicants will be subject to a strict interviewing process with me and Irene. Oh, and maybe with the CFO too.
Unless, of course, Jim decides to stay for another year. Then we will joyfully ditch said hotty for our office bud and dread the following year instead.
26 comments:
Can the new guy come work at my house on the weekends?I have some chores I need to watch him do.....!
You might want to reconsider on the young hottie. Go more Clooney than Channing Tatum. The young guy doesn't eat sandwiches because he's a juice head, lives on muscle milk and won't get any of your TV or Mucisal references. The more mature fella provides the eye candy that you desire AND the requisite trivial knowledge to hold the office banter aloft.
Signed,
A woman who works with too many 25 year olds
I have a photo of me when I used to be in Cubeville and it looks like we had the same desks and cupboards. :)
Good luck on finding the right candidate for your spare cube!
xo Catherine
Seems like a reasonable set of requirements; although the CFO might add some stuff about skill sets related to job performance. Too bad you and Irene can't just go with your list.
LOL if you get a hottie I will be jealous. The only guy in the office at school that I work with looks like John Denver and tends to wear jean on jean (of two different tones) on blue jean Fridays. Oh ya, and to much cologne.
Lolz
Ah, looking to upgrade. That's nice.
Gee, I fit the bill except for #8. And, I'm a woman. Oh well. I don't know the labelmaker song but I'm a fast learner.
I don't think I know of ANY man that meets ALL these requirements. My husband comes pretty close, but he's got a job, lol. :D
GOOD LUCK!
Hey! Can I put dibs on his job if he does leave? I'm not a dude, but I dress snappy, smell good, I'm not Hispanic and I have accounting skills, a vast knowledge of old movies, and politics (cable tv will come later after I get a job) and I definitely can make obscure references..and I know we would have a blast! Lol!
Regarding photos in cubicles...the last place I worked at the Sr. VP was adamant about no one having any personal effects in their cubicle. Most especially when the mucky mucks from Horsham came. I always thought it was absurd and never complied. With my 4 hour daily commute and all the time I spend there, if I can't make a bit homey (as long as it is in good taste and everything is neat, which it was) I don't see what the issue was. He complained about that, but yet there were his top agents whose cubicles looked like the city dump but he never complained about that because they were his top earning agents.
I think your requirements for the new person are extremely reasonable. After all you and Irene are the long time employees and certainly you should have a say...perhaps you can even conduct the interviews! Heres to finding Mr. Right!
Cheers!
Have a good weekend.
Hahaha whoever gets his job *provided Jim leaves), is going to have one hell of an interview process to go through.
We have one in our building. My friends and I call him "arm boy".
Also with all that good stuff comes ego. But he does know a lot about old movies...
Awh, I hate it when you have a good group at work and then one of them bails. Bummer. And what is Jim doing thinking about leaving you two? Who will take care of his secret wishes? We all know his wife couldn't give two you know whats. Sigh...
Rumour has it that Micheal Scott is leaving Dunder Mifflin - maybe he's available.
And if you don't know who I'm talking about you need to watch more TV.
What? Jim retiring? Does he know that there are people here who might want to know if he will ever get to have twinkly lights?
If you must replace him remember that those young hotties like to spend their time texting with young chicks and don't have much time for things like singing the labelmaker song
ME ME ME.
I have been so sick I didn't even remember to check on Hobbes yesterday. Went to doc-bronchitis and pneumonia. Boss was mad I was ordered to stay home yesterday and today. Wrecked her plans to escape. She has yet to as how I am or say anything.
That pic obviously wasn't taken this week :-) Especially after yesterday's post.
Retirement sucks - Tell Jim that! Smells good should be a prime requirement...
I have lots of accounting skills and tax knowledge but not the killer bod. Oh, guess that only applies to guys. :)
Sounds like you know what you want...
heh
I like the idea of a hottie. At least you will have something nice to look at during the more dreary tasks.
Melodie--We have a Triple A ball team here and each summer they look for homes for the ball players. I'm always willing, but for some reason, Joe refuses to allow one to stay here. :( Buzzkill.
DG--Okay, so like a 35-40 something is good? I'm gonna miss Jim. :(
Catherine--I don't think they change cubes much in design, do they? It helps to put up pictures and such, but alas, it is still a cube. What makes it homey is Jim and Irene--I'm gonna miss Jim big time.
Vanilla--I hate when they get all professional like that. Sigh.
Jodi--Ewwwwww. I think we'll need to establish some rules for clothing too, eh?
Diana--We gotta laugh or we'll cry. :(
Rebecca--We had an intern this summer who did not find the labelmaker song funny--I don't know why. She asked me sarcastically "Do you have a stapler song too?" to which I answered "No. That would be stupid". She didn't like us very much or find us humorous. I don't know why.
Lola--I'm not sure I would tell anyone I know about this job. It is a hot seat for headaches and audits. I think you really have to be an expert in taxes to survive. Even Jim wants to pull his hair out most days. I love how everyone scrambles to clean their cubes when the owner comes in--not me though. I'm a cubicle neat freak!
Hot Rocks--We'd really rather that Jim stay, but alas, we have no say in that either. Boo! Hoo!
Ben--For some reason, nobody ever seems to stay in the extra cubes that are back by us. I mean, we're cute, we're fun! What gives???! So, we have to make sure it is a good fit with whomever is hired.
Highway--Arm Boy would be nice. Sigh. But he's got to do some work too, I guess. Do you think he's out there???
Nancy--I am joking, but I am really, really sad that he is leaving. I mean, he is my big pally at work and he's gonna be gone! *sob!* He confirmed it today--he'll be gone at the end of May. WAAHHHHHH!
LJ--I know who it is!! But he's a dork. We don't want a dork!
Ann--I'm gonna get him a package of twinkly lights to take with him I think. And a big picture of me and Irene in a frame. I sort of dread who is coming because I know it will never be the same. And BTW, Jim walks the other way when I sing the labelmaker song. He doesn't find it funny.
Helene--Oh no! I hope you are feeling better, although it is nice to be able to be sick at HOME, I'll bet. So, do we want the old guy to make it??????
Grace--That's what I keep telling him!! But, he won't listen. :(
Beaded Tail--But you won't want to live here--it isn't as pretty as where you live. Irene and I are fun, but I think Sadie would miss her pretty walks in the woods.
Pricilla--yeah....we want Jim to stay. *sob!*
Anne--Well, that's what we are thinking! We have priorities, you know. ;)
I heard from my boss finally this afternoon. She sent me an email with the title "tomorrow?" and nothing else. I hate my job that I am supposed to be grateful for.
Helene--Those people suck. Honestly, you need to find another job.
I love your "at work" photo, also enjoy your new 'do. It's shorter than it was this summer right?
And if you were really on top of things in that photo, my website would have been on the monitor there.
p.s. Bummer you have to deal with comment moderation again.
CG--That shot may have been right after a haircut. Or you weren't looking at the back of my head. :) After too many visits to the Duck and Wheel and YouTube, IT finally cut us off of entertainment in the cubes. We are left to the labelmaker for fun. Sigh.
If you ever do get a new hire, I feel really sorry for him in advance. He's going to have a tough list of requirements to live up to.
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