Acupuncture Barbie

You know that the minute you are thinking "THIS is a blog post", it's gonna be good.

With my back/tailbone/butt/GERD thing plaguing me still, my physical therapist makes the suggestion of going to "Ted" the acupuncturist. Sure, I'll go--I'll try anything at this point to get over this pain in the rear--literally.

First, you have to know that I am rarely serious about such adventures. I'm the type of gal who is giggling through anything new or stuff that I am unsure about. And the whole time that Ted was asking me questions and sticking me like a voodoo doll, I was silly. Not mean-like silly, just being light-hearted and kinda of laughing about how silly I must have looked to the non-acupuncturist-going world.

Second, you have to know that Ted did not find me the least bit humorous. He is a very serious dude, and I think he found my lack of one-word answers for his pre-treatment questions a tad....well.....frustrating. I think I caught him rolling his eyes and sighing more than once or twice. I think most people are very serious when they go for acupuncture. Me--not so much. I found this whole thing wayyyy too serious, which only made me giggle harder.

So, I'm laying there while Ted is treating the front side of me for GERD--or acid reflux. He's sticking needles in my forehead, meat of my thumbs, down my abdomen, in my left upper chest, in my legs and feet. And while I didn't really feel the needles going in, I had to close my eyes for the unicorny needle was a tad bothersome in that I just wanted to laugh the whole time I saw it. I found it very hard to be serious when I have a needle sticking out of my forehead.

And as he finished up and was turning the lights down for me to sit like that for a few minutes, I had to ask, "Do I look absolutely ridiculous, Ted?"

I think he did not like that question, as he replied "I do not judge my patients."

Really?? I'm laying here giggling like a school girl with a unicorny needle sticking out of her forehead and you don't think I look like an idiot??

Then I said "You do know this is a blog post, right?"

"What????" I heard him say.

"Uh. Nuthin." I think he's just really polite or professional or something. Poor guy.

So, I laid there and relaxed for 10 minutes--or the best you can do when you look like human pincushion.

He then flipped me over and treated my tailbone and back pain--with needles that had electrodes attached. And no, he did not like my question if I had smoke and flames shooting out my butt. Or if the controller for the electrodes went to "eleven". I guess he didn't see Spinal Tap. Bummer.

So the answers to your questions are: No, it does not hurt. No, it doesn't feel like you are getting a shot. They go in quickly and painlessly, and then you sit like that for 10 minutes. It is very relaxing with soft music, dimmed lights, and a calm atmosphere.

Does it work? I dunno. I didn't feel immediate relief, but that may have had something to do with my cynicism. I made an appointment for next week, although I think Ted may not be so happy about that.