I Love Hobbes Thursday - The Pacifist

Joe was out grilling dinner when he noticed that Hobbes was a tad too interested in the garden back by the fence. Okay, so hostas are fab for a shady nap on a hot summer afternoon, but homeboy was digging around and looking for something with way too much intensity.

Typical of the dad, Joe let him alone until Hobbes re-appeared with a new gray fuzzy mustache--the kind with big ears and a long tail.

Hobbes carefully carried his new-found treasure to the grass and gently set it down to admire it. He lie down across from his new friend, tucked his arms under his chest, and settled in to just watch what the baby field mouse was gonna do next.

Joe picked up Hobbes and called to us, knowing that Em and I are suckers for those cute little things whose ears are almost bigger than they are. And while we came running, the poor wee thing just sat there, breathing heavy, scared to death of the giant orange ottoman that could have crushed him if he so chose.

We all ooohed and ahhhhed over the wet-with-spit fuzzball and then Joe gently guided him back to the garden, where he scurried under the fence to safety. Hobbes was in the house at this time, getting a drink and something to eat while wondering what all the fuss was about.

When he was finally let back out, poor Hobbes went right to the spot where he had left his mouse, confused as to what happened to his friend. He looked and sniffed all around, knowing that he had just left him right there, and now he was gone. It was like he was thinking "I know I left him here somewhere...". And all the while, we just chuckled.

I wonder if he knows that he is supposed to kill the mouse? Sigh. That's my Hobbes. Making friends with the enemy.

Semi-Wordless Wednesday - Pumpkin Sitting

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion."
--Henry David Thoreau

I draw the line at drivin'

Somebody please explain to me why Grace is hanging out in my car IN the garage these days? Every single night, I have to go into the garage, open my car door and get her out before I go to bed. It's the most ridiculous thing.

She spent an entire night in that car recently. Apparently the driver seat is a lot more comfortable than her cushion on the rocking chair in my room. Go figure. I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't pee on the mat on the passenger side.

And I'm just waiting to show up at work some morning with my cat with me. I actually have to check the back seat for that gray pouf before I pull out of the driveway each day. Seems girlfriend is so comfy in the car that she doesn't wake up before I'm halfway out of the garage. That's gonna be tough to explain to my co-workers.

So, while Irene and Jim are a hoot to hang with at work, I'm not so sure how Grace is gonna fit in. That lickin'-her-butt thing that she does just sorta crosses the line of office etiquette.

Guess Who's Coming to Homecoming?

Saturday night brought us Homecoming 2010. And while having a date is nice, I think going with a group of friends is always the better option--I think you have more fun. That way you aren't limited to who you can dance or hang with. Apparently the girls thought like I did.

Here is Em's group of pallies:

(photos removed for privacy)

Lauren (far left) came over to get dressed and made-up with Emma. There was lots of cracking up, discussions about make-up, and then a mad dash to Walgreen's to buy Bump-its for their hair. Lauren was pulling off a mean "Snookie" do, thanks to Em.


Later in the day there was a huge rush of excitement as it was announced to Joe and I that Matt Cabel was coming to our house for photos.

MATT CABEL???! What??! No WAY!!

Who is Matt Cabel? I don't know. But everyone was very excited that he was coming over and going with them. I was just excited that he chose our house to come to. Lucky us. I was honored.

I told Joe quietly not to ask who Matt Cabel was. I also mentioned that our social status just climbed way high and not to say a thing to the girls about it. So, he does what Joe does best--he went right in to ask Emma who Matt Cabel is. Sigh. He doesn't get it.

Emma, Lauren, Alexis, Liz, and Sarah

We don't get much information, so you just have to listen very carefully in the car and around the house the next day, but I guess the dance was a success. Somehow, they lost Matt Cabel but hooked up with a very handsome Alec--who I think has a thing for Em. There were smiles as long as that kid's legs the next day, so I guess she had fun.

I don't think I'm getting anything more than that. Sorry. If we want juicy stories, I guess we are just gonna have to make them up. Sheesh.

Go SuperFan!

Blame the late posting this morning on some beastly child who misplaced/stole my camera cord. Ugh. I hate kids.

Anywho....

Last night was Homecoming at the high school. And while I was prepared for less hiney pain, bringing my special "hiney" cushion, blankets, and loading up on muscle relaxants, I was NOT prepared for the SuperFan. The mere sight of SuperFan had me bustin'.

SuperFan is no other than our dear band parent pally, Bill. He was the lucky winner of the title last year at the end of the season party, winning the drawing. No, there was no real qualifications for the job--he was chosen by random. But there was no better choice for our first SuperFan, Bill is loved by everyone and up for fun all the time.

Running through the crowd, high-fiving everyone with his inflatable hand, Bill exemplifies what band is and who the band parents are. Always upbeat, joking, and up for fun, Bill is gonna be a tough act to follow. Being that his son is graduating at the end of this year, another SuperFan will need to be chosen to carry on the tradition.

That is one big inflatable hand to fill....

JD's Uncle Tim

Hey, guess who was in town recently? Yep, JD's Uncle Tim--you know, as in Tim Gunn. (He's on Project Runway for those who are wondering.)

And while I struggled to figure out how to get my tired hiney downtown to see him after a long day, I realized I had to give up the quest. I guess it would be sorta creepy to "visit" with him again--for him, I mean, not me. Me? I was all ready to meet up with JD and storm the dude! Now talk about scary. Somehow I think me and JD together would just scare the crap out of Tim Gunn.

Sigh, I love me some Tim Gunn.
(What the hell is with my hair? Did I just wake up or what?!)

Here's where I'm all chattin' it up with my pally.
Notice how he's intently listening to whatever the heck
I was talking about.
I am an idiot.

And here's the part where I don't remember what the hell
I was saying to him,
but I do remember distinctly that he told me I looked "lovely".
So, I've got that going for me.

And the dress?
Still got it. Can't part with it--
Tim told me I looked "lovely" in it.
Sigh.

And THE photo that you have all seen like a cabillion times,
which sits framed on my family room side table.
And that you are all secretly jealous of.

Dang. Why didn't I go the other night????

I Love Hobbes Thursday

Today's "I Love Hobbes" post is dedicated to Helene (Granny Spice) and Kathy (The Junk Drawer). Helene, well, because she just loves Hobbes so much and because she has like the suckiest job ever. And Kathy because she lost her beloved Stinky this week. 18 years is a long time to have a kitty friend, and losing Stinky was devastating for her.

Consider yourself hugged, pallies--by me and Hobbes. (Note: I'm the one who doesn't shed)

You know how you have your favorite spot--at the kitchen table, in the car, out in the yard, and on the couch to watch TV? Yeah, well, I lost mine last week. A certain somebody has decided that the primo spot on the couch (closest to the coasters for your drink, near the lamp, and on the end of the couch with a good leaning spot) was now his.

And while most people (who don't own a pet) would say "Oh, just move him over", I do not. Nope. I end up sitting on the floor, trying to get comfortable and maybe sneak a smoochie in on the big guy during commercials. And by the big guy--I'm talking Hobbes. Joe has a cold--I'm not going anywhere near that sniffy face these days.

So, I'm wondering on when the cat starts ruling the roost? I mean, there was actually a day around here when animals didn't walk on the counters or take a bath on the kitchen table. Cats had their beds to sleep on--they weren't allowed on the good furniture. Well, they still aren't allowed on the living room furniture, although their fur magically appears on it when we go away on vacation.

When did this house go to the cats? When did they start making the rules and leaving me tips that consist of a fuzzy gray or orange stripey hairball? At what point did I lose ranking?

Sigh. Such is life with cats. And when they grace you with their presence on your chest in the wee hours of the morning to march on you and drool, you forget all the bad stuff. What barf on the rug? What torn up back of the couch? What dead yellow birdie in the yard?

Furry love is good love. So I take what I can get..... (hey, isn't that a song?!)

Hide Your Husbands

Our man-on-the-street correspondent, Jodi, reports in with yet another fab find.

Jodi had me cracking up before work the other morning with this. It has since traveled through my family, friends, and co-workers, leaving us all in stitches.

You really have to watch the first video to appreciate the second. I know, I know--you are all very busy and hate to take the time to watch, but please do. You will thank me later. (Oh--and your families and co-workers will too.)

This is the interview:

Which leads to Autotune, naturally:

And while you are giggling, go click on Jodi's link and scroll down to see how a marching band would interpret this. I'm telling you, marching bands can rock anything!

Thanks, Jodi--I find myself singing this everywhere now. Homeboy, home, home, homeboy!

With the world turning circles running 'round my brain...

I'm pretty much stream-of-consciousness blogging today. Forgive me for the random thoughts that plague me.

• I really am done with all the road construction in Chicago and their random switching of the merge direction. I'm just done with it and it isn't fun anymore. Wait--it never was any fun--I forgot.
  
• Can I just say that there are gonna be some real sorry dudes at the high school Saturday night? Many have hinted, but none have asked the cutest girl in the hottest dress to Homecoming. Fools.
• Has anyone else noticed their toilet paper flailing around the roll lately? I finally realized that they shaved a good 1/4 to a 1/2 inch off the width of the roll to save money. WTF?! Now if I can shave a good 1/4 to a 1/2 inch off my butt.
• My neighbor has the biggest freaking mouth. I can hear him clear inside my home--and that is on a quiet day.
• I love my physical therapist. Who else would rub your hurty butt until it doesn't hurt anymore? Now if I can only get it to stay unhurty.....
• We caught 2 more raccoons, one of which was so big that he filled the trap with his gigantor body. And while it made me feel bad, it was nothing compared to the young one we caught the next night. I have major guilt....I'm just sayin'.
• I miss Colin....and his friends. That means you, Taylor T.
  
• I have one more week with my favorite French intern at work. Gees, I'm growing tired of good-byes. I wonder if Paris could stand a visit from me and Irene?
  
• I'd like to kill Sirius radio....or Joe. My husband comes in every day, sing/humming the latest tune he heard on the radio on his way home from work. Wouldn't be so bad except he only knows like 2 or three words.....that he repeats endlessly. The missing words are filled in with "uh, huh, uh, uh, uh". Imagine this: "Cal-i-for-nia Girls, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh". Yeah/no. I may have to kill him.
• Bummer. I lost a follower today. Okay--who bailed??! Does that drive everyone else nuts too wondering about that?
  

Whew! Got that out of my system.

Drum Line - How I love thee

Oh, man, I had 8 hours of sitting in the cold (and the rain) on metal bleachers on Saturday. And while that sounds like torture to you and my butt, it was heavenly to me--well, the upper part of me anyway. We kicked off the marching season competitions this weekend--me in that lovely combination of winter coat and new leopard print wellies.

Have I mentioned how much I love Drum Line? Sigh.

I just love those cocky, crab-walking drum line dudes (and dudettes), snapping those snares and jammin' their sticks in the side bag when they are done. I love the whole military precision of drum lines and all the cool stuff they do with their sticks. The funny thing is that neither of my kids has ever been a drummer. I'm currently trying to convince my friend Wendy's kid to do drum line in high school so that my "Go DRUM LINE!" yell is actually justified.

We were a tad rusty this weekend, working out the kinks of a brand new show and getting settled into the music and the routine. We ended up taking 1st place in our class, and winning both Best Visual Effect and Percussion, which was nice.

The highlight was the announcement that our Drum Majors, Linnea and Christa, won Best Drum Majors overall--over 23 bands!! And when I say that, I think you ought to know that we beat our some serious competitors. There are about 6-8 of those bands that rehearse the same routine for 12 months out of the year and their drum majors train for years.

So, here is my pally Wendy's daughter, Linnea, totally kicking drum major butt and killing them all. Wow. Talk about a hoot! I was so happy, I felt like it was my own kid. And to beat those huge bands--it was sweet revenge.

I'm pooped. It took me the whole day yesterday to recover. And while I'm tired and my butt is really aggravated, it was nice to get the win and some snappy new leopard print wellies to wear for future rainy events.

It's my dream for "Mary Ellen"....

I've done it. I've succumbed. But it was ONLY for one occasion--the Band Parent Bonfire. And I did it as a joke.

I dressed the goose.

Who is now named "Mary Ellen, the Marching Band Goose".

I'm sorry, Mary Ellen.

I'm sorry to have dressed you like this--in school colors
and marching band attire.
I'm sorry to embarrass you by dressing you at all.
Cement geese should be naked
and spending time with their cement friends,
by a cement lake.
Sigh.

And today, we have a special treat by our man-on-the-street correspondent, Jodi, from Keeper of the House Adventures. Jodi has been hooking me up with hilarity this week, and for that, she has been named a Special Pally here at the Duck and Wheel. She may not earn a lot of money with her correspondent job, but she sure earns the glory!

Jodi sent me a very timely link to a story that I can only say is My Dream for Mary Ellen.*

(*sob)

He's baaaaack......

Holy Crapalini.

I went out last night with my flashlight to check on my big tubby frogs. And while they were all fat and happy, chilling in the water, I saw this:

Like I said.....Holy Crapalini.

I am not a happy camper. I was not happy to see his cute masked face smiling at me from my bird feeder. I was not happy to see his surprised face when I shone the light on him. I was not happy when he scampered off over the fence. I was downright angry when he popped back up again to see if I went in the house yet.

I do not like you, Raccoon.

I do not like you in my yard.
I do not like you eating chicken lard.
I do not like you on the fence,
I do not like you, hence.....

Sigh. Here we go again.

The endless hunt

Hobbes is spending every last minute of daylight out in the yard now. He knows that soon enough, there will be cold weather and too much time indoors. Even though he loves the snow, I think he prefers summertime with it's hiding places of giant hosta leaves and blooming bushes where he can sneak up on helpless butterflies and bugs.

I found a dead goldfinch out in the yard yesterday. Being that they are dangerously hanging out on the low-to-the-ground dried seed heads of the cone-flowers, I knew somebody was gonna get it one of these days. Those yellow birdies are just so enticing.

I pointed the dead bird out to a certain Stripey Somebody, but he played it off like he'd never seen it before. There was the initial "Oh my, what do you have there, Mom" sniff and then he just walked away, showing no interest whatsoever.

I called after him, "I know who got this birdy, Hobbes", but he showed no remorse. "Funny how a little yummy yellow bird just happened to fall from the sky, Mister."

And so, the summer ends like it started---with adventures in the yard.

Summer goes too fast, doesn't it?

Dang, the Dalai Lama is soooo right!

This bad boy is hot off my Dalai Lama Page-a-day calendar: (The quote, not the photo, silly!)

"So if you're looking for work and have a choice of a job, choose a job that allows the opportunity for some creativity, and for spending time with your family. Even if it means less pay, personally I think it is better to choose work that is less demanding, that gives you greater freedom, more time to be with your family, or to do other activities, read, engage in cultural activities, or just play. I think that is best."
--Dalai Lama

Wow. What is with that dude??! Gees, he's just so spot on!

It's funny because when I read this, I thought "Gees, this is so ME!". And then Joe read it and he says "Hey, Lin! Did you read the Dalai Lama today? It is sooo ME!". Yeah, no kidding--we are in this together, aren't we?

I was thinking today on how work is tough these days, how you have to do more for less just to keep your job. And how stressed out folks are--being either employed or unemployed.

We try to keep perspective here--remembering what we are working for. Work is so that we can afford to have a LIFE--not to make work our life. Funny how we all know those who have no idea what that means.

My friend Wendy has this on her office wall: "Don't get so busy making a living that you forget to have a life". I like that one too. Why is it that we need reminders to not get so absorbed in working? Why do we have to make actual appointments for stopping the madness to just enjoy?

And tell me, how does the Dalai Lama know all about this stuff?

Your Daily Humjob

Don't be thinking its porn, you dirty minds.

This song goes through my head daily as I zig-zag around the orange cones, wooden horses, and endless road construction crews in Chicago. After hearing the first 2 minutes of this song, I guarantee you are gonna hate me for the rest of the day---only because you are gonna be singing it too.

Each day, there is yet another road to be torn up, a new detour to take, and new adventures in driving to work. And instead of being crabby, I just take my Pollyanna butt out the door early and sing this song to myself......and all the remarkably-patient drivers who merge 3 lanes of traffic into 1 along with me each morning.

I dedicate this to my fellow mergers AND the dude who pulled up along side of me this morning to tell me that I had no brake lights:

Monday already???

I'm easing into the week slowly....

Gees, Monday's have a way of sneaking up quickly, don't they? Why is it the Friday seems to take forever, but Monday just pops up like a doggone dandelion? Criminy.

I love weekends. I especially like them when you have a good one--one that is full of good friends and lots of laughs. It just starts the week off right when you are still cracking up about what transpired over the weekend.

And that I am.

The bonfire was nice--with really great friends showing up to laugh with us. There were sparklers thanks to John and Lemon Drop martinis thanks to Joe. There was Betty's giggling, Mary's "Shut the hell up", Bill's "wood" (wink, wink), Mary Ellen the Marching Band Goose, and Barb's determination to be the first to arrive and the last to leave. There was patriotic singing 'round Bill's flag t-shirt (after a few rounds of alcohol) and a scary-yet-funny moment when one of the sparklers that was lit was actually a bottle rocket. And while Bill P. was going around announcing (jokingly) that the party sucked, we were scraping his wife off the patio after mis-judging the step.

My stomach hurts from laughing and my feet hurt from standing around talking all night. The booze was nearly gone and the food was decimated--I guessing that means everyone else had a good time too.

So, I head into Monday and work with a warm heart and a smile on my face. It's good to be a part of this group--one that works hard when we need to and laugh even harder while we are doing it. I count myself lucky as most groups don't work this well as a team. I'm still wondering if Mr. P is grateful to have us or he's just wishing we'd all just behave ourselves for once.

Happy week ahead, pallies. Keep a happy moment in your heart and do whatever you do with a giggle. It just makes life more bearable, doesn't it?

Kicking off the season

It's time for the Annual Band Parent Bonfire at our place.

We invite all the band parents to our house for cocktails, some munchies, a bonfire, and some laughs to kick off the marching season. Being that we all spend so much time together in the next couple of months, I figure this is a good way to meet the new parents and to laugh with the ones we already know.

Competition starts next weekend and I can't wait to see the show completed. Football games are fun, but the highlight for me is seeing our band compete with other bands. We aren't large in number, but we make up for it on field show and music. Ooooh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

I'm such a dork.

Waiting for Halftime

Ahhhh, Friday. You know what that means around these parts.....

Marching Band Season!

And while this isn't exactly our band, I was sort of hoping our band director could put this on the play list for the stands at the football game. I'm thinking the crowd would dig it. I know I do. And I like the message.

I just hope the pain in my back from sitting on cold metal bleachers passes as well.

I Love Hobbes Thursday--CardioGirl Style

While CardioGirl dreams of having an evening of quality Hobbes time,

I think he's doing the same with her.

Hobbes loves the cool crisp air of summer nights leaving and fall approaching. He's all about coming in early from the yard and snuggling on the couch. Which is all great except he has a tendency to drool when he's really, really happy. That and he sticks his butt in the air--right near your face.

So, get ready, CG. If you are gonna spend some quality time with my Stripey Goodness, prepare for getting covered in stripey fur and cat drool. And as for the butt thing--well, I guess it's just the price you pay for cat love.

But, honestly--it's worth it. It's all very worth it.

Junior Smiling

Not only did we trap the same opossum twice, but we got mom and baby ("teen", actually) one night. Don't worry, both were released together in our yard right after this photo was taken.

Can you see him smiling?? He's not really--it's the opossum way of scaring me. They open their mouths to show you their teeth which is supposed to scare you off. But it didn't--I just oohed and ahhed over him......and then made sure he and his mom were safely reunited and released.

This whole trapping thing is really bothering me. While I can't have threatening animals in the yard, I am still struggling with having to resort to these measures. The raccoons, although cute, were really causing damage to our property and not backing away if we went out after dark. It got frightening and unsafe to have to go to the garbage cans--I was getting afraid for our safety and the safety of the cats.

That said, I find it unbearable to see those animals in the cages come morning. They are unharmed, but it is the thought of trapping them that I struggle with. I can admit that I have shed more than a few tears over the decision to remove them. I even had Joe move one raccoon into the shed when it was pouring rain--and bless his heart, he did--without complaining. Joe, I mean, not the raccoon. I'm sure the raccoon was a tad miffed at this whole plan--rain or no rain.

We are nearing the end of this madness as we have already had one night of no animals trapped. When we reach 3 nights with no traps triggering, they pull the traps and consider the job done. I have to say I am waiting for that moment.

As for the raccoons and where they end up--why, Happy Raccoon Village, of course.

Well Wishes and Gratitude

Lots going on at the Duck and Wheel today.

First, our pally, Ratty (The Everyday Adventurer), was hurt in a car accident on Friday. He was rear-ended at a stoplight and had to be transported to the hospital. We are all anxiously awaiting an update on his well-being, but for now we can only send get-well wishes and prayers that he is okay.

I'm thinking that little mouse body of his must have really gotten thrown around that vehicle. Poor pally. Get well soon, Ratty! We sure miss you! Here is a little peaceful frog photo to recuperate with:


Second on the agenda today is lots of thank you's.

It was like a cabillion years ago that Sara (Red Pine Mountain) had a giveaway on her blog and she sent me a copy of Karen's (My Funny Dad Harry and Karen & Gerard Zemek) book "My Funny Dad, Harry".

What a treat that was!! Karen tells such sweet stories of her elderly father and his kitties--a light read about love and patience mixed in with some fun. Add in that Sara is also a dear pally who surprised me with this in the mail--and I'm downright giddy. Thank you, Sara!

And what could make this whole book thing even better?? Yep--a Tazzy bookmark from another pally! Tracy (Crazy Suburban Mom) sent me this to crack me up:

Isn't it sweet?? Look at Tazzy--she's all angel-like! The only thing better than a Tazzy bookmark is.....uh....a GINGER bookmark!! (I wonder if Tracy has any of those hangin' around?)
I'll have to ask her.

Thanks, Tracy! It makes me laugh every single time I look at it.

Lastly is this wonderful surprise:

Look what my crazy fun cousin, Tracy, made for me!! Aren't they cool????! They are blog-header notecards that I could send to my pallies if I had all their addresses and I wanted to write them notes and stuff!! But she didn't send a thousand of them or anything, so I'm saving them for special occasions.

Sweet!

Uber-Cool!

Not only did that talented cousin of mine send me some super cool notecards from Sincerely Yours, she made these special to surprise me. She has her button over there on the sidebar, and I would highly recommend her cards should you have something special come up in your life OR if you want to represent your blog to your customers or followers. I am SOOOO diggin' these.


Criminy, that's a lot of business we took care of today. Sheesh, it was exhausting.

Hey, speaking of exhausting--Happy Back-to-Work-after-the-holiday-and-Friday-is-gonna-come-up-super-quick-now Monday!!! I love me a short work week!

Red Box Trauma

We spent the past two days cleaning up the yard and the gardens, clipping back spent blooms, and splitting perennials. It's good to be done with summer and yard work, but then again, I'm gonna miss my frogs singing and the hydrangea blooming.

After a long day of working in the yard, Saturday night brought us to the line at the local Red Box. Red Box is the movie rental machine at the local Walgreens, if you aren't familiar with it. It's kind of luck-of-the-draw renting, leaving us with whatever was left after hours of folks tapping that machine for $1 movie rentals before we got there. But it's only $1 and so we go, figuring whatever we get can't be that bad.

Yeah/no.

Being that the machine is outside, most cars pull up and park right by the machine. Saturday was no different and there was already a car there choosing their movie. We got out just to see what they had and to wait for our turn right after a mom and two little boys finished.

Mom was sitting in the car, waiting for these two kids (around 5 and 6 years of age) to decide what to get and to run her credit card through the machine. And while we were chatting about what to get, one of the kids decides he's gonna help us.

So, he's pointing out this movie or that--mostly things like "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" or "Cats and Dogs"--all pretty child-friendly fare. And when I point out Huckle from some kid movie, the kid scrunches his face up and shakes his head "no". Apparently it's too babyish for homeboy, and he points to a movie and yells "You GOTTA get 'Kick Ass'" and he says "ass" and everything.

I'm trying to be real cool and I tell him, "No way, kid! That's got a curse word and you shouldn't be saying stuff like that!" and he just looks at me. And his mom is right there and she doesn't blink an eye. So, I was telling this kid that he shouldn't be using words like that and I'm not getting that movie because I don't like curse words (yeah, right) and that movie looks awful anyway. But he kept insisting and finally he gave up and his mom screamed for him to get in the car, which he did, and we were left there with the Red Box machine and no idea what to rent.

The four of us (Colin, Emma, me, and Em's friend, Lauren) stood there debating which movie to get, which was hard because Lauren saw like all of them, and then someone else pulled up and we had to pick something quick. And before we knew it, we had "Kick Ass" in our hands and we were all laughing because some 5-year old told us to rent this movie.

Which was our first mistake.

I'm just gonna tell you that this movie traumatized me. It was the most violent, graphic, and horrible movie EVER. It was meant to be funny, I guess, but I was so freaked out by the scenes of an 11-year old girl slaughtering folks left and right, dropping f-bombs like no tomorrow, and getting punched in the face in the end. It was so horribly disturbing that I kept walking out of the room. And all that I kept thinking was that mom let her 5-year old watch this crap.

I'm not sure what is scarier--that he watched it, that he recommended this to me, that his mom let him watch it, or that I actually sat there and watched it too.

That's the last time I ask a 5-year old Roger Ebert for a movie suggestion. Sheesh.

Shhhhhhh.....

I'm sleeping in this weekend. Every morning for three whole days. Even Hobbes got the memo and joined in this morning--he didn't get up until 8:00. Which is late for him.

Ahhh, I love a long weekend, don't you?

Friday night's social calendar had a twist this week. Ditching the football game for a co-worker's wedding was a refreshing change. Okay, so I spent half the evening wishing I was with the band pallies, but I did enjoy padded chairs with backs and an open bar. I'm getting weary of bleachers and we have only just begun marching season.

So, the wedding was incredible and very interesting. Eva (the bride) is Mexican and so her wedding was very traditional in its celebrating. It was fun to experience a wedding reception that was totally different from what I have ever been to, and we had a blast.

There was the mariachi band who was cranking out tunes, the endless dollar-dance where folks line up, pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom, and lots and lots of toasts in Spanish--that I couldn't understand a lick of. Joe was amazed at the beautiful girls in their skin tight dresses and stiletto heels, and we both cracked up at the guys and their hair gel.

The table was overflowing with gifts, which is very different from our envelope-giving tradition. An odd, but delicious surprise was the sushi bar, with 4 guys making fresh rolls right before my hungry eyes. Mix in the open bar, some fun co-workers like Irene, and the night was a hoot. Of course, I had no idea what was happening at any given moment, but we jumped in and had fun.

And the bride? Oh, gees, she was beee-you-ti-ful! Eva surprised us all by ditching her librarian look for Latina wowness. Criminy, that girl comes to work with uber-conservative clothing, blouse buttoned up to here, glasses on, hair straight and black shoes, ready to tackled exciting things like reports and filing. Last night, girlfriend wore the most incredible sparkly mermaid dress, hair up and poufed to one side, tendrils swirling down one shoulder, and bright pink shoes on under her dress.

And shake it???! WOW. We just stood there, mouths open, watching this stranger shake it like I've never seen before. Not that it was inappropriate--we just never see this side of Eva. It was hilarious.......and nice. Glad she's got a whole other life than what we see those 8 hours a day.

So, that leaves the weekend for spending time with Colin--who won my heart over with a big giant hug last night. It's nice to have the 4 of us under one roof, relaxing and just watching the raccoon traps in the yard. So far, we have relocated (to Happy Raccoon Village) 3 raccoons and released 2 1/2 opossum. The half is because we caught the same opossum twice--she's a slow learner. Yeah, we are all about fun at this place.

Happy Labor Day Weekend, pallies! I'm coming by to see what you are up to, so fire up the grill and get the cocktails stirring......

Kill the fatted calf.....and the Cocky Garden Center Dude

Guess who's coming home for the weekend?

Yep, the Son-Who-Does-Not-Call-Us.

But that is okay, it will be nice to see him and all will be forgiven.
That's what mom's do--we forgive things like that.

And while I'm boasting about how non-petty I am, let me tell you that I just happened to run into Cocky Garden Center Dude today at.....where else?........the garden center.

I tried avoiding him and honestly, I think he was doing the same to me. It's funny because everyone else loves me at the garden center. They are all like "Hey! Hi!" and then their voices sort of drift off because they don't know my name, but they know my face and all. And they laugh with me and talk about the weather and gardens and such. I'm kind of a regular there, so they know me, but this one Cocky Pond Dude does not think I am nice....or funny. Whatever--it's his issue.

Anywho....so I just act like I don't notice him and he's doing this whole avoidance thing too--until I'm leaving. And then he looks up and says "Oh, hey. Thanks for coming in today". Yeah. It's kinda like "Oh, yeah. See ya. Don't let the door hit you on the way out...". And that's when I had to do it--I had to be petty.

"Hey! Remember when you and I had that whole debate on herons vs raccoons?" I say slyly.

"Yeah!" the light bulb goes off in his wee brain and he acts like he wasn't thinking this the whole time I was there. He isn't cool and subtle like me.

"Well, it was raccoons. And a lot of 'em!" I tell him. I'm smirking inside because I'm right and he isn't, big smarty that he isn't.

"Really?!" (faux surprise) "How do you know?" he asks.

"Decapitated rabbit. And the fact that I finally hired an exterminator that caught 2 raccoons on the first night of trapping." And I proceed to say to him "FYI and for your customers" and give him all the dirty details like cost, guarantee, and procedures of my new favorite business (Guardian) that is helping me rid the yard of masked hooligans.

He stands there, listening and then he has the nerve to ask "Do you think they'll trap skunks? I've got a skunk problem at my house."

Really?? Really, dude??! I wanted so bad to suggest that he probably had a heron problem, but I think that would have been really petty.

And I'm so above that.

I Love Hobbes Thursday

Hobbes is not happy as he is on house arrest for the next 15 days. After waking each day to more and more damage to the pond by the raccoons, we finally decided to take action--we paid dearly to have someone come in to trap them.

So, there are three very large traps in the yard each day, baited with some very yummy smelling kitty food, and we were left with strict orders to keep the kitties inside until all of this was settled. And while I'm okay with that, a certain stripey somebody is infuriated.

Hell hath no fury like an orange kitty housebound. He stomps around demanding to be let out. He mews a very angry mew insisting that we just don't understand his plea for fresh air and freedom. He flops that ottoman-sized bod on the rug and kicks his feet on the door--just in case nobody notices his displeasure of being trapped inside. He is one very frustrated kitty, I have to say.

With the frequency that this gang of hoodlums rapes my yard, I have a feeling that Hobbes' jail term will be short-lived. I fully expect that we'll capture these bad boys in no time. And with no remorse. Well.....maybe a little. But we can't have the kitties in harm's way--and it was a matter of time until someone got hurt. These raccoons aren't "sweet" or "cute"--they were getting dangerous.

So, Hobbes will be spending his time reading "If you give a mouse a cookie", renting "Born Free"and "Garfield - The Movie", and maybe singing "Everybody wants to be a cat" from the Aristocats to pass the hours of confinement.

It's gonna be a long 15 days. I'm just sayin'.

Semi-Wordless Wednesday

Who's done with summer???

Me!

(And I'm not alone.)

Happy September 1st, pallies.