Guess who's coming home for the weekend?
Yep, the Son-Who-Does-Not-Call-Us.But that is okay, it will be nice to see him and all will be forgiven.
That's what mom's do--we forgive things like that.
And while I'm boasting about how non-petty I am, let me tell you that I just happened to run into Cocky Garden Center Dude today at.....where else?........the garden center.
I tried avoiding him and honestly, I think he was doing the same to me. It's funny because everyone else loves me at the garden center. They are all like "Hey! Hi!" and then their voices sort of drift off because they don't know my name, but they know my face and all. And they laugh with me and talk about the weather and gardens and such. I'm kind of a regular there, so they know me, but this one Cocky Pond Dude does not think I am nice....or funny. Whatever--it's his issue.
Anywho....so I just act like I don't notice him and he's doing this whole avoidance thing too--until I'm leaving. And then he looks up and says "Oh, hey. Thanks for coming in today". Yeah. It's kinda like "Oh, yeah. See ya. Don't let the door hit you on the way out...". And that's when I had to do it--I had to be petty.
"Hey! Remember when you and I had that whole debate on herons vs raccoons?" I say slyly.
"Yeah!" the light bulb goes off in his wee brain and he acts like he wasn't thinking this the whole time I was there. He isn't cool and subtle like me.
"Well, it was raccoons. And a lot of 'em!" I tell him. I'm smirking inside because I'm right and he isn't, big smarty that he isn't.
"Really?!" (faux surprise) "How do you know?" he asks.
"Decapitated rabbit. And the fact that I finally hired an exterminator that caught 2 raccoons on the first night of trapping." And I proceed to say to him "FYI and for your customers" and give him all the dirty details like cost, guarantee, and procedures of my new favorite business (Guardian) that is helping me rid the yard of masked hooligans.
He stands there, listening and then he has the nerve to ask "Do you think they'll trap skunks? I've got a skunk problem at my house."
Really?? Really, dude??! I wanted so bad to suggest that he probably had a heron problem, but I think that would have been really petty.
And I'm so above that.
I tried avoiding him and honestly, I think he was doing the same to me. It's funny because everyone else loves me at the garden center. They are all like "Hey! Hi!" and then their voices sort of drift off because they don't know my name, but they know my face and all. And they laugh with me and talk about the weather and gardens and such. I'm kind of a regular there, so they know me, but this one Cocky Pond Dude does not think I am nice....or funny. Whatever--it's his issue.
Anywho....so I just act like I don't notice him and he's doing this whole avoidance thing too--until I'm leaving. And then he looks up and says "Oh, hey. Thanks for coming in today". Yeah. It's kinda like "Oh, yeah. See ya. Don't let the door hit you on the way out...". And that's when I had to do it--I had to be petty.
"Hey! Remember when you and I had that whole debate on herons vs raccoons?" I say slyly.
"Yeah!" the light bulb goes off in his wee brain and he acts like he wasn't thinking this the whole time I was there. He isn't cool and subtle like me.
"Well, it was raccoons. And a lot of 'em!" I tell him. I'm smirking inside because I'm right and he isn't, big smarty that he isn't.
"Really?!" (faux surprise) "How do you know?" he asks.
"Decapitated rabbit. And the fact that I finally hired an exterminator that caught 2 raccoons on the first night of trapping." And I proceed to say to him "FYI and for your customers" and give him all the dirty details like cost, guarantee, and procedures of my new favorite business (Guardian) that is helping me rid the yard of masked hooligans.
He stands there, listening and then he has the nerve to ask "Do you think they'll trap skunks? I've got a skunk problem at my house."
Really?? Really, dude??! I wanted so bad to suggest that he probably had a heron problem, but I think that would have been really petty.
And I'm so above that.
21 comments:
The son who does not call us...poor Colin. But it made me smile.
Better than the son who is an obnoxious jerk and lets his mother walk in 95 degrees. Oh yep Lin, wait til he's 31 and see what ya get.
Happy weekend!
Pally, I would have said, naaaaa but coyote pee sure would work for that. Laugh. And walk out the door.
Maybe I wouldn't, maybe I am just having a snarky attitude week.
I just love the expression on the girls face in the picture! Garden center guy...fhptzzzzz! (imaging child sticking out tongue and making the poot noise,lol!)
Bwah-ha-ha!
You are a good person passing on your wisdom to this clearly misguided Garden Center Dude... ;)
Have a fantastic weekend with your son coming home. Don't be too rough on him about not calling. Perhaps just a few subtle hints... your phone number written in his alphabet soup... LOL!
Happy Weekend friend!
xo Catherine
Well played, Lin. But one would expect nothing less from you. Happy weekend.
OMG Lin.....Your gorgeous daughter looks JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goodness, is it laundry time already? (And yeah, what Tracy said - You and Em look like clones!)
Other have said what I was going to say. Okay, I thought of a smarty remark, but I'm so above that--or not.
Oh Lin...I am LMAO right now, after reading about the garden dude! Hilarous! Have a great weekend my friend!
And yet the garden center dudes get the jobs while those who know the difference between a raccoon, heron, or skunk grovel for pennies. There must be a story in there.
OK, I'm rolling with laughter here!!
I clearly have been absent from reading blogs for FAR too long! I have no i dea who you're talking about but can't WAIT to find the original post to this! YAY!
OMG so funny!! Enjoy your weekend!
Maybe you should just not talk to Colin all weekend and see how he likes it...
That or spray him with the leftover coyote pee.
Awh! Good for you! Enjoy Colin this weekend:) P.S. I like what Pricilla said about not talking to him all weekend. Sounds funny.... (or maybe just for the first 10 minutes until he catches on...haha)
So glad to hear that Colin will be spending the holiday weekend with you! And he better not spend any time at all on that phone calling anyone else since he doesn't call his mom! Just sayin.
You handled the Cocky Garden Guy very well! You got your point across that you were right and he's an idiot. He just stinks and it's not from the skunks!
That's good to know that Colin is coming home this weekend. Well, I think that is not a rare thing that at his age he does not call his parents. Teenagers are like that. Just saying though. :)
Enjoy a fantastic weekend!
Helene--Oh, I fully understand college life and he did Skype us last weekend. I guess that counts, right?
Jodi--Hahaha! I had a LOT of things I wanted to say to that goof!
Melodie--Oh, that's my kids. Maybe I should have brought Em with me to razz that guy. :)
Diana--:)
Catherine--Well, I'm hoping that he can be a tad more informative to other customers. If I can't help him, I might as well hope he can help someone else. The goof.
Vanilla--:) Yeah, I can be a tad snarky sometimes. But I had reason, right???
Tracy--That's what everyone says! Isn't that funny???
Chuck--Sometimes you just got to let it fly. I was nice though, but I made my point.
Hot Rocks--He is a sausage. I guess I shouldn't have bothered, but it was just so much fun. :) Happy Weekend to you too!
Sharky--Go figure. I hope his skunk sprays him.
Jo--It's just so ironic, isn't it?
Peewee--oh, I gotta go dig it up. I send you the link when I find it. It's sometime in June I think....
Stephanie--I'm gonna send him a coon skin cap just for good measure. ;) Happy Weekend to you too!
Pricilla--Boys don't get it. I'd only end up frustrating myself, right? Sigh. Oh--his room smells like coyote pee and he'd never notice it. ;)
Nancy--I can't wait to just have him home. Even if he doesn't talk to me. :) Enjoy your holiday, pally!
Beaded Tail--I think he was punished by having a skunk move in! I think that is worse than any raccoon!
June Zach--I get it, I get it. Now, go call YOUR mother, pally! She'll thank me later.
I can picture the whole garden center scene playing out in my head and I'm cracking up here.
Have a great weekend with the son who doesn't call but you forgive anyway :)
I'm also guilty of seldom communicating with my mom and dad. But you reminded me of how important and precious it is to get in touch with your loved ones. :D
P.S.
My mom says thanks to you. ;)
Post a Comment