"Someone could be taken aback by your brutal honesty when you change your mind about plans they thought were set in stone. You're done with following other people's agendas just because it's polite, and you're ready to try new goals. Trust your instincts and use your emotional momentum to break out of old habits, whether emotional, professional or personal."
I love horoscopes, don't you? I especially love them when they hit the nail on the head. This is exactly where I am these days--tired of being polite and following agendas that aren't necessarily mine.
And the part about "brutal honesty"? Yeah, don't ask me 'cuz I'm gonna tell ya and you aren't gonna like it very much. Best to keep quiet, I say.
On another, very different note, I broke down and spent $20 on coyote urine. Yep, seems some coyote pee is supposed to help deter whatever the heck ate my fish. I've got two thoughts on this:
1) If I can make this much money on coyote pee, I wanna know where I can get myself a coyote. Heck, I figure I can sell his tinkle to make some money plus his mere existence would solve the whole who-ate-my-fish dilemma of late.
Okay, so he would probably scare the bajeepers out of the cats too, but I'll bet Yip Yap the Non-Stop Barking Dog wouldn't dare utter another peep out of his yapper. It just might be worth keeping Cujo the Coyote in my yard.
2) Yeah, it might work (or not) to scare predators, but it's sort of scaring me and the cats too. Every time I bend down to look in the pond, I starting sniffing, wondering what the hell died around the pond. And then I start looking around and I realize it is those ridiculous vials of coyote pee that is stinking up the joint. Yeah, I have only done this like 5 times in a row--I'm a slow learner.
And as ridiculous as I look, you gotta see Grace sniffing those vials, making her "I smell poop!" face and walking away. (That face consists of her wrinkling her nose and opening her mouth to use the smell glands inside the roof of her mouth to identify what the hell just pooped/died around the pond. Yeah, it's a goofy look, Grace.) At least I don't do that.
Add to the scenario that Hobbes is officially freaked out by the vials of pee and won't go near the pond. He sneaks up, real slow-like, sniffing this way and that. He creeps up on one of those vials and BAM! He's gone!
Wow. That pee works.
Okay, so it works on my silly house cat. I'm just hoping for $20 that the heron/raccoon/feral cat/alligator/hobo or whatever ate my fish is a goner too.



25 comments:
ok, why didn't I think of that? I have imagined myself in every job possible and never Coyote Pee Salesperson, or maybe Coyote Pee Manufacturer, or I could have a Coyote Farm!!!
Wait, I don't think the condo board would like that much.
Oh, I do hope you solve the predator problem; but I have to say:
This story is uproarious!
And the telling is just glorious.
You've made my day.
*giggles* Thank you for the a.m. laugh. =) Hope the stinky works!
You crack me up! And I'm with ya on the coyote urine...sounds like somebody had too much time on their hands, and now they're making a quick $$$. Geez...why don't we think like that?!!?
Hope you solve the problem and can keep some fishies. :)
Have a great w-end pally!
LOL! Alternatively, you could use some of our durians. Want me to mail some over??
Happy Friday!!!
i'm tired too of following others agendas. there has got to come a day when i can do what i want when i want and to hell with others want me to do.
about the urine...if it works, great, if it doesn't.....eeeewwwww. lol!
have a wonderful day!
hugz!
Lots of coyotes in this neighborhood. Now if I could just get them to do wee-wee in a bucket . . .
Good for Hobbes. I've lost lots of feral cats. I suspect, but can't prove, that coyotes used them for canine treats.
I don't do horror scopes--or musical comedy scopes for that matter. :) Have a great day.
I bet coyote pee would help me in my constant battle with the deer. Although I have found fat suburban deer fearless and not the least deterred by anything.
Including me standing in my driveway chucking rocks.
I hate it when deer laugh at me because I throw like a girl.
I hope it works! I had to laugh because every time my son pees out side,hey,we live in the country and he is a boy whatta ya expect, he says he is doing it to keep the varmits away!
Had I known you were in the market for coyote I would have packed my trapping gear for vacation and brought you back a real live wild one for the yard.
WOW! So the pee works! I've heard about it, never tried it. We have a problem with deer and skunk (not to mention teenage boys). Do you think it'll work on teenagers?
TOO FUNNY about Hobbes. LOL I should try that on my cats, just to have a little fun. ;)
My dad used to pee on the anthill to make it go away. Mom wasn't thrilled since we lived on the highway. But she's dead now. Oh wait, he is too, so I can't send you any of his repellent. Maybe you can enlist your guys to help. Then again, just set a trap for the next stray male coyote, then train him to pee into a bucket, repackage the stuff, warehouse it (sounds like fun in summer), and marketing. Call me when you get rich.
Oh I hope it works. I've been considering getting some of that to keep the squirrels out of my yard but wasn't sure if it would freak out the dog. Does human pee work? Cuz I could provide plenty of that myself and save a few bucks.
You really made me chuckle today! I've had to catch some of Sadie's pee for tests and I just can't imagine following a coyote around to do the same thing! Your descriptions of the cats' reactions are so funny. Thanks for the giggles today Lin!
Bwahahaha... OMG... that is so funny!
Hmmm.... who do you suppose has the crazy job of running around a coyote all day collecting it's pee??? I hope they are well paid! ;)
Have a Happy day Lin!
xo Catherine
I remember an episode of (I think) Wife Swap where the family made their living bottling and selling some sort of wild animal pee. The swapped wife was pretty grossed out because she was expected to be the chief pee bottler.
Why didn't you just save the money and get your husband and son(s) to pee around the pond (late at night, undercover of darkness)? Human pee should work the same way - or is that only when it comes to keep the deer away from my flowers?
Where in heavens name does one buy that?
Gotta love it when a horoscope says something that makes sense. Usually mine are stupid like "you will find love on the next corner"...lol
I'm curious as to how they go about bottling that coyote pee
Princess--I wouldn't want to be in charge of "collections" in that company. ;)
Vanilla--Well,there are no more fish to eat, so I think the problem may be solved. Somehow I don't think minnows are what the eater has in mind. Glad you find the whole pee episode funny. It sure smells that way.
Wardhouse--Hi, new pally! Yeah, me too. I wonder how long I have to deal with this stink?
Sherrie--Hey, they are making a fortune on this....uh....pee. $20!! Crazy!! And I bought it. Ugh.
Veronica--YEAH! Just think, we can eat AND solve our problem! ;) Good idea, pally!
PJ--I'm not a good follower, PJ, and I only do it for so long before I say "screw this". Yeah, it gets me in trouble. It's the "brutal honesty" that folks don't like.
Chuck--I would guess the coyotes had a lot to do with the "thinning of the herd". We get a random one passing through here, but they are usually panicking and running to get out of the 'hood. I like horoscopes when they work for me. ;)
Highway--I think they get immune to things that are meant to scare them off. I think you have to mix it up....and then admit defeat. My friend, Wendy, has lots of problems with her deer too.
Melodie--Hey! Maybe you can bottle his pee and make a fortune!! Well....it's an idea.
Jodi--Would you drive with him on the roof of the car???!
Rebecca--Well, the pee works for me and Hobbes....and that's about it for now. I think a mop or a broom would scare off the teens.
Sharky--The package reads that they train the coyotes to pee in a certain area and they collect without them knowing it. There is a big disclaimer on the back saying it doesn't hurt coyotes in any way. I just wonder about the folks who have to bottle it. Ick. I think somebody is making some cash on this deal.
I dunno - the cure for this problem sounds almost as bad as the problem. In fact, my word verification is "upincrud" so I must be right!
We have coyotes here...every night I hear them a barkin'
Don't know how you'd go about collecting their pee, though
Jen--I'm not even sure the coyote pee works just yet! I don't think there is anything you can do about the squirrels. Doesn't the dog scare them?
Beaded Tail--I read on the box that they "encourage" the coyotes to pee in a special area that collects the urine, so no following them around with a vial, thank goodness. This whole predator-eating-my-fish thing is a debacle!
Catherine--Why do I think it's just some guys, a bunch of coyotes in a pen, and a mountain of money?? Who's to say I don't have human pee in there???! How the hell would I know the difference??
Patricia--This stuff is pretty strong smelling, hence, me and the kitties sniffing around the pond every day. I imagine bottling it has got to be an icky job. Fresh pee.....eewwwww!
LJ--Guys need this much encouragement to pee outside, so I don't want to start something here. I don't know if human pee would work or not because we don't "mark" our territory like the coyotes do. Who knows? I may just have a vial of $20 human pee here.
Grace--Garden store or online. $18.99 plus tax. You gotta see the package to appreciate the stuff. It is made by "Leg up productions".
NOT kidding.
Ann--I loved that horoscope because it just applies to my life lately. I love the "brutal honesty" part. ;) I don't think I want to know how they bottle that stuff or what the "factory" smells like.
Janiss--LOVE the word verifcation! There is no easy answers for predators at your pond. Being that we don't know for sure what ate the fish, it is hard to set up a solution. I'm just hoping the "stink" wards off everything from humans to pterodactyl.
love horoscopes too! Most of the time it's just general mumbo jumbo. But occasionally it hits home so hard you find yourself wanting to call Madame Cleo for more info!
I think the $20 bucks was worth ever penny if it keeps the varmin at bay
Haha! Right on ~ like there's another job ~ someone to test the pee to ensure it is actually the coyotes!!! LOL! Too too funny!
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