Imagine the horror on my face when I read this in the local paper:
See??! It was STOLEN! Well, I think so, anyway.I found this in the paper while I was at work--yes, I was working. Colin said something about some kid from school that was killed the other night and I was looking in the paper to see what happened....
Anyway, I saw this and let out a scream for Irene. Of course, Irene (and everyone else) had a field day with this one. Yes, I have a goose on my porch that does not belong to me. No, I didn't steal it. Yes, there is a report of a stolen concrete goose in the paper. I don't know if it is mine they are talking about in the police beat.
So, while I'm making wacky calls to local police stations to report my new found goose, I might as well add another precinct to the list and I call the town where the crime was committed. We don't live all that far, so I might as well see if it is "our" goose they are looking for.
This time the police department was a tad more understanding in listening to my plea to take this thing off my hands. I asked them to call the victims and see if they can identify the goose, as it is wearing some highly identifiable clothing. I don't believe there are many Laura Ingalls Wilder look-alikes around Dodge these days. The lady was pretty excited thinking they solved the crime and offered to come get the thing.
I don't know. I want to make sure that this is the goose that was stolen--I don't want my goose going just anywhere, you know.
26 comments:
So, Lin, you already looked that gift goose in the mouth, so to speak; but don't turn down the assistance. Let them cart the thing away.
btw, four of our dwarfs came up missing a few years ago. A letter to the editor got them back.
Oh, yeah. And on reading the rest of the article it seems that given the amount of dope, Maryjane and alcohol observed in the area, it's a wonder you got off with no more than a goose on your porch!
oh my god. You are so lucky. Nothing like this ever happens to me.
Lin, I agree with you on this... you must be very careful that the goose goes to the rightful owner and that this is not a ruse to obtain a finely dressed geese.
I howled when I saw the police blotter reporter. You lead an exciting life full of danger and excitement.
One last thing, you are going to miss the goose and I can sent you links of fine establishments who create wonderful costumes for a new goose of your very own.
I don't know what to say :-)
Vanilla--With all the dope and liquor around here there is no wonder why that poor thing is dressed like she is! I hope I can find her home because I don't want someone to be missing her.
Princess--My mom said that last night--"Why do you have all the exciting stuff happen to you?". I don't know, but life sure isn't boring around here. :)
Highway--I am not getting outfits for the goose. I am not getting outfits for the goose. I am.......
Helene--Neither do I, pally, neither do I. I just hope I can find her rightful owner.
Oh-my-gosh this goose thing keeps getting more funny. I suggest a line up geese and have the owner pick hers out of the line-up. That should help in making sure "your' isn't just going to any house, the wrong house.
If I were you, I'd be sh*tting my pants right now. I also would have called the cops in that city just to cover my back.
I will be interested in learning if that is, indeed, the goose in question.
i don't know but, this post just made me pee my pants a little.
the scandal of it all..
buahahahahah.
Now that I've picked myself up from the floor and wiped the tears from my eyes, I hope you find Mother Goose a home so you don't have to mother that goose.
Your goose is cooked, lady... Can you blog from jail?
Oh this is just too funny! I'm really starting to believe you live in Weirdville with everything that happens there and now a stolen goose as the headlines! LOL I think you should hold out for a reward!
I am so jealous of your life right now you cannot imagine.
Will you still remember us little people when you get all famous on cops and all?
ps: my catpha was leper. heh heh
Of for pete's sake honey, left the cops have the goose. you can't cook it and it aint gonna lay any eggs - golden or otherwise!
(I love my word verification: dolograt)
Please tell me it wasn't my parents who where the victoms looking for their lost duck! They passed away several years ago, but its just like my to complain.
Oh my gosh, Lin! That is hilarious! I hope its their goose so you can get rid of it, lol
Jodi--A line-up is a good idea, Jodi, but that would mean that there would be MORE geese! In dresses yet!
CG--That's the first thing we did after everyone had a good chuckle at work. They were going to run right over until they heard I was in another town and I told them this goose had a very definite "look" to it. I left my number just in case.
Stacie--It IS scandalous, isn't it? I'm hoping some Granny doesn't come after her goose AND me!
Chuck--Can you even believe that???! We were dying at work. But that beats working any day.
Sharky--Oh, I'm sure I can. I hear they have cable TV too. Who's gonna bake me a cake with a file in it?
Beaded Tail--Isn't it funny??! Does this stuff happen to other people?? Sheesh. Well, at least we have some laughs here. As for the reward--I'd be happy if someone just gave her a good home.
Pricilla--Yeah, who wants to be me??? Isn't this whole goose thing wacky?? Well, I guess it's all good for a laugh anyway. Hey, you actually got a "real" word???
Grace--What's with the word verification? I never get actual words anymore. As for the goose--it's gonna drive me crazy until I find its rightful owner and return it to them. I have this image of me handing it over with hugs and handshakes all around. You know, all Mayberry-like.
LJ--Would you like the goose for their final resting place?? That might make a nice touch. That is my worst nightmare that some poor old lady is missing her goose right now.
Storm--Storm, welcome to the wacky world of me. I feel like this stuff only happens around here. Sigh. Well, at least it is good for a laugh.
LOL that is just too funny. We aren't going to be hearing about you being hauledd off in handcuffs for stealing that thing are we....lol
oh Lin...lol! Only you. I love how you wanna make sure the goose goes where it belongs. Your love of wild life is amazing :)
Meanwhile, I'll be packing you a nice little care pkg for the slammer...lol!
Wow. I am speechless (or rather, comment-less). And for a writer, that is very, very rare!
Ann--Oh, I'm a goner alright. According to Irene (my coworker) the cops are on the way! And I don't even want that stupid thing.
Roschelle--Make it a looooonnnng cake--long enough to conceal a file. :)
Janiss--Yeah, no kidding. I'm speechless too and it's MY house! Sigh. Is it to much to ask for boredom?? Really???
Uh, Lin? You may want to check to see if the goose passes a drug test. That very well could be the hideout used for drug dealers. (Her attire is all a disguise.)
Walk don't run to the police station and turn in the goods, I mean goose. :)
BWAHAHAHAHA ~ OMG that is sooooo funny!!!! When are you going to find out if your goose is their goose??? Hmmmm..... I wonder if they will dust her for fingerprints!! :)
Now that's a good one!
xo Catherine
Chocolate--Girlfriend is SOLID, I tell you, solid. They couldn't stick drugs in her if they wanted to! She is one tough goose.
Catherine--Oh, I'm thinking I would have heard by now. Being that it is the next town over (or 2), I'm thinking this is a stretch. By the condition she is in, I'm thinking she was trash. Shhhhh, don't tell her that though.
Thanks for today's big smile.
Marilynne--I completely cracked up when I saw that headline too. It won't be so funny when I'm in the slammer. :)
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