Okay, who's the wise acre?
Friday morning, Joe left for work and then came running back in all worked up."LIN! There's a goose on the front porch!" he's all breathless.
"Well, go chase it away." I say calmly.
"I can't. It's wearing a dress."
Oh.
And then I open the front door to find this beauty staring at me. A very heavy beauty, I might add.
So, Joe and I just stood there staring at the poor thing, wondering what Grandma lost her goose off her porch the night before. And I hoped she wasn't sad that it was gone and now sitting on my front porch--uninvited and pretty much unwelcome. And we wondered what the heck to do with this thing in the ugly dress.
The crime here isn't that some hoodlums stole this thing and put it on my porch--it is how horribly dressed this poor duck/goose is.
And now my porch is fodder for harassment over at Along Life's Highway. I wonder how many points I get for submitting my own tacky yard art?
Commence snickering.
34 comments:
Too bad the goose does not have very good fashion sense. Anyone can see she is dressed in LAST year's fashion.
Do you suppose it's from a crazy fan of Duck and Wheel With String who can't tell the difference between a goose and a duck?
That's nuts, man.
And if it is from a crazed blog fan I'd lock up Hobbes right now.
Perhaps you could find her a new outfit Lin and then send her along her merry way. At LEAST take the sunbonnet off her. That is soooo "Little House on the Prairie"... it's a fashion shame. ;)
xo Catherine
"I can't. It's wearing a dress."
OMG. Too funny!
I'd like to go out on a limb and suggest that the dress would fit waaaay better if the goose's arms could get through the sleeves. She's just wearing it wrong is all. Also, she needs a parasol.
You all crack me up. And yep, protect Hobbes.
One former friend is a goose freak. Probably why we lost contact years ago.
Call the fashion police! I have a naked pink flamingo I can send if she needs company or consoling.
Couldn't have happened to anyone who would appreciate it less. My condolences, Lin. ^ ^
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OMG - thats hysterical. Its sort of like weird ass duck and wheel stalking.
T
I think it's adorable! She needs a little touch up on her nose. But yeah, really I would be a bit cautious - gotta wonder why it is on YOUR porch.
Fortunately, we have never had an ill attired avain entity appear on our front porch. However, I once found a couple of trash-can lids sitting there. I thought they looked familiar. Sylvia took them to the Burger King (near where she used to teach). They had been removed from there and they were glad for the return.
Big question: What are you going to do now?
This made me laugh so hard!
I'm actually reading a book series where there is a goose dressed up and posed in different ways all the time, and this reminds me of it SO much!
Too damn funny! Duck and Wheel with String you are. Tomorrow you'll find a wagon wheel on your porch.
My Grandma has a goose with all kinds of fancy outfits. Gram is however afraid the goose will get stolen so, fancy goose fits on the fireplace in the basement inside a house in Downersgrove.
Do you know where she came from? There is probably someone somewhere who is extremely upset that their duck is missing.
The dress comment IS hysterical.
Maybe it felt so out of place on its former porch it just had to live somewhere it would be appreciated....
Wow! That's funny. I must say I've never known anyone to wake to a duck in dress and bonnet on their front porch!
Jen
I'm betting that little mother goose there just got lost since her bonnet appears to be covering her eyes. She probably thought she was home when she climbed up on your porch.
That reminds me of the MANY things that my parents put on their lawn, or hung from the deck, or leaned against the house. Generally homemade and generally - - quite tacky. Sorry, but that's my feelin' and I'm stickin to it!
Daisy--This dress doesn't belong in this century, Daisy! Oh, the humanity.
Veronica--That crossed my mind, believe me. I'm wondering who brought me a duck/goose....still.
CG--Nobody is fessin' up, CG. I'm trying to be lighthearted about the whole thing, but it is awfully weird.
Catherine--It IS a fashion crime, Catherine. Even Nelly Olsen never looked so bad! Em wants to get her a new outfit too, but I'm just not ready to go there. That would mean I like her.
Kathy--She has faux wings sticking out of the sleeves! I mean, somebody went wayyyy out of the way to dress the poor thing. I think somebody did it a favor by bringing it here. I think naked would be better than THIS dress! NO parasol!!!
Helene--What is the deal with these geese? And why the need to dress them?? Em is all excited thinking we are gonna get it a new outfit. NOT.
Sharky--I'd mail it to you, Sharky, but I couldn't afford the shipping cost! That thing is HEAVY! I can hardly move it off the porch. Actually, I'm hoping someone claims it as their own....and SOON!
Vanilla--Thanks, pally. I am mortified by this thing sitting on my porch.
Tracy--I'm really hoping that is NOT what is going on here. It creeps me out!
Grace--I'm gonna send it to you, Grace! It would look lovely in your backyard by the newly painted wall. I thought you, of all people, would join me in hating this thing!Uh, what is with the hiatus, pally?? You coming back???
Chuck--I called the police to report the opposite of a theft. What would that be called?? A "found"??? It was awfully quiet on the other end of the line until I told them that if someone called with the report of a missing goose, they could come and get it at my house. I'll bet they are still chuckling at the police station.
Violet--Well, it IS funny until you try to move that mother off the porch--it weighs a TON! Now what do I do with it????
Jodi--I'm not all that far from Downers. Send me Grammy's number, I'm bringing her a goose!
Anne--My thoughts EXACTLY! I called the police dept. this A.M. to see if anyone reported it missing. It was awfully quiet on the other end. Sigh. And I was just being nice thinking some Grandma is missing her goose. Anyway, I left my number just in case.
Pricilla--Oh, it is sad, very sad. That is the worse dress I have ever seen!
Jen--Only here, Jen, only here. Who else gets a goose in a prairie dress on their porch?? Sigh. Lucky me.
Ann--I think she left whoever dressed her like this out of resentment. Em wants to dress her in something new. I'm just hoping to be able to lift her off the porch!
LJ--Oh, I'm with you on that one, LJ! She couldn't be tackier if she tried! If I could lift it, it would be in the back in a heartbeat! I'm also hoping her owner drives by and claims her.
Did you maybe admire her from afar a while ago and someone maybe took the hint and surprised you with her? She might look okay if she had a makeover.
AH HA! Did you think you could slip this little beauty by me! You own a goose in a dress and that is a very big deal. Of course now you must change its clothes and post the new outfits.
Now I am off to post this wonderful development on the fan page so we all can continue to enjoy it.
Joe's comment about "I can't. It's wearing a dress" is so funny! Hope you figure out who in the world brought it and why. And I certainly think that Hobbes should be under close supervision in case there's a Duck and Wheel stalker out there!
LOL!! Stealth Goose Drop Off, that is hilarious!
I think someone needs to stop by and change her outfit to a swimsuit. ;)
Chocolate--Oh, gosh, NO! I hate those things. Now I'm just trying to figure out who knew that AND could lift that darn thing. And NO, we are NOT keeping her.
Highway--Where is the fan page??? It's scaring me. Did I get any points while I embarrass myself??
Beaded Tail--Hobbes is safe. I think it's just a prankster. Who, by the way, is DEAD when I find out who it is from.
Oh my! This is too funny! XD
But I love the goose... it's pretty cute in that dress. Don't mind having it if you don't want it... hehe
All I can think is that someone reads your blog and knows where you live. Which is a pretty frightening thought for all us bloggers (including kitty bloggers).
'Cause my human sure as heck doesn't want that thing in her front yard.
Storm--I'm gonna KILL whoever left this ugly thing for me! And what do I do with this heavy cement goose????
Nessa--If you lived closer, it would be YOURS! I'd hate to think what it would cost to ship. It weighs a TON!
Sparkle--I'm pretty open about the blog and most folks who know me know about the blog. So, it doesn't scare me really, but I'd appreciate if they wouldn't show me blog love by leaving 75 lb geese dressed like Laura Ingalls Wilder on my porch! Ugh.
That should earn you some serious points .....for sure! lol
Lin, I could not resist. You are on the board.
Roschelle--4 points!! Okay, so I'm in last place--at least I finally scored! How ironic that it is MY own yard that garnered the points?
Highway--I don't know whether to thank you or not! Okay, so I'm a little excited about the points. :)
It's pretty funny that it's there, but it scares me. LOL... I think it's the dress that gives me the willies. Poor lost goosie. You need those "have you lost" signs to post on telephone poles. :-)
Petula--Oh, Irene at work already thought of that! She wanted to make flyers to post, but I refused. I don't want to scare the neighbors any more.
Did i come wih a wheel and a sring??? ha cracked me up!! ou mus have pissed someone off o pu somehing so ugl on our porch...Are ou SURE OU didn' fall in love wih i, bu i, and now have o jusif i's ugliness on our porch?? LOL!
M message beer have posed because i was LONG and GOOD!! No wisecracks abou HA!
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