I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday when she said "I'm only a mom...." and then went on with her thought. Those two words got me thinking and I told her that we shouldn't use that word "only" when we defend ourselves as who or what we are. Fifteen years ago today was one of the two best days of my life--when I had my kids. Being a mom is who I am--first and foremost. It is my first thought when I wake up and my last thought as I close my eyes. It is the deciding factor for every decision that I have made since they were born and will always be. Becoming a mother opened up my heart like I never knew it could and my life was transformed the moment I met my children.
I am a mother--only.
It's funny, but when I am asked what my occupation is, I always answer "homemaker" first, I rarely tell people I work part-time. My job is not what defines me as it is only to make my home life easier, helping bring in some extra cash to help the family with those expensive extras. I don't get insurance through my job or a hefty pay check, so really, the hospital or the doctor doesn't need my employer information or my phone number at work. So, when they ask, I just say "homemaker" or "mom" because that is my priority and my real full-time job.
Today is Em's birthday and she is fifteen. Fifteen is a good age for her, tough age for me. Standing in my kitchen can be the little girl I know and love, but then she is quickly replaced with an evil, drama-induced diva who demands my last ounce of energy and nerve on a moment's notice.
When she comes out in her jammies, I'm never quite sure which Emma I'm going to meet up with and I walk tentatively over to my oatmeal, hoping not to stir the Evil Em. Em is no different than any other teen girl and I get that, and I know that my sweet girl will return to me again someday in the future. In the meantime, I'm patient--endlessly patient.
When I look at Em these days, this is what I see--an eternally 2 year-old Em, wacky, funny, and my little girl. I wonder if that image will ever change in my mind?
I hope not. I'm forever her mom--only her mom. Nothing else matters much more than that to me.
36 comments:
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, one of the reasons I never became one. Happy Birthday Em!
Happy Birthday, Em!
That pic is TOO cute. Motherhood: The Sequel is the same. And this time around I am enjoying every cute little thing Alex does. And this time around it is going even faster than the first.
I like the job description on apps. Never thought of it that way.
A mother ~ the most important responsibility in the world isn't it. Not an honour to take lightly. I think we will always look at our child and see the little person they used to be. Oh what I wouldn't give to have my son at the age of 1 years old back for just one day. :)
A big Happy Birthday to your little girl!
xo Catherine
Beautiful post! Happy Birthday!
Great post! It's about time motherhood and homemaking was recognized as a worthy "career." I remember, as a kid in school, when the push for us girls was to break that glass ceiling, and that motherhood was a barrier and contemptible.
Happy birthday to Em, and happy motherhood to you!
My children have grown and left home. I wish daily that I was only a mom. I get misty eyed over any commercial, movie or TV show that tells the story of children growing into adults. I sob at "Sunrise, Sunset" in Fiddler on The Roof. My children never grew up in my own heart. So keep her there at two just for you. - signed the empty nester.
I am proud to be a Mom of 4 great kids...a lot of work, YES! Being a good mom is the hardest and most rewarding job on the planet. Too bad our society does not put more emphasis on being ONLY a mom!
PS...your daughter will return to normality in about 3 or 4 years!
Love it!! Some days I feel like I am only a mom and then I remember that I am the best mom my kids could have!
She was then and I'm sure still is adorable (when your not looking).
My boy is only five and I can't even fathom him not being a child and of course I don't want to either.
Love the pic, Lin :) And I think being a parent is the best thing I've ever done - I don't get the only thing, I really don't.
Happy Birthday, Emma!
This is a beautiful post especially with Mom's Day coming up. Thank you and Happy Birthday Em! I'm deathly afraid of 15:)
Congrats Mom! Happy B'day Em.
Ok Lin...
I'm a mom - ONLY!
Point well taken...I have officially changed my title!
Please extend a huge happy 15th birthday to Em! I hope she has a wonderful day...
Wen
Em is still that little girl, but she's trying hard to be a woman. She'll be your girl again once she's figured it out.
I love being a mom, even though I'm a grandmother seven times. You are always their mom.
Give Em a hug and let her say "mootthher!" from me.
Happy Birthday to Em. In her honor I maaa:
Maaa maaamaaaa maaa to You
Maaa maaamaaaa maaa to You
Maaa maaaMAAAA maaa Dear EM
Maaa maaamaaaa maaa to you.
And I do the goat dance of joy!
I dislike using the word "only" in the references that you speak. We (ok read: I) are so quick to self-deprecate and belittle what we do. Make the bad tapes go away.
On a side note - who dressed that kid?
Happy Birthday Em. I remember when my daughter was growing up and how difficult she could be, then someone would say "oh your daughter is so sweet" HUH? we can't be talking about the same girl can we?....lol There does come a time when these evil girls get past it and you can once again like them
For years I had the tax gal write my occupation as "mother of three" b/c I always say I am better mom than a homemaker.
As the mom of three girls I ask myself often-- is there really ever enough drama in the house? The world according to them the answer is never.
So with that I say Happy 15 Candles to Em!
Happy Birthday to Em! Love the pic.
Right now, Josh says I'm the worst mom in the world!
Grace--Well, there are good days and bad days, Grace, but they were worth it for me. Now I have to go find a new job when Em graduates.
Helene--I hear that being a grandparent is even better, but I am going to miss having these two around. It goes waayyyyy too fast although it doesn't feel that way some days.
Catherine--I remember them around age 2 or 3, when they would still go to bed at 8:00 p.m. :) I would love to have them cuddle in my lap just once more. I wonder when the last time they did that was? Why wasn't there an alarm bell or something to tell me to hold them just a little longer??
Diana--I'll pass it on. Thanks! ;)
Rebecca--There are those who will always think a SAHM isn't really a job--whatever. I go to work to rest now--I'm just saying. And can I just say I went YEARS not ever going to the bathroom alone???!
Highway--I get misty too--especially lately with Colin's HS graduation coming up. I didn't think I would cry, but I'm sniffing it up already. It's hard to let go.
Hot Rocks--Thanks for the encouragement, I hear they do return to normal after awhile. Whew! I don't understand why "mom" isn't enough on resumes and job apps. It's like I was loafing for 15 years???
Jo--They don't know how lucky they are! :) Oh, they will when they go to do it and realize what you did for them. I'm counting on it.
DJ--Don't even close your eyes--they grow up that fast! But I never regret staying home with them because I can say I didn't miss out on anything. Okay, we aren't rolling in the dough--but I've got some love going on.
Tracy--Em was getting dressed when the mailman dropped off her birthday package from G'ma--a new swimsuit. She insisted on putting it on over her clothes and slippers. I don't remember who added the headband to the ensemble--but she looks a mess. But how happy she was! I loved that day. Being a mom was the best thing I did too.
Vanilla--:) Thanks, pally!
Jennifer--I didn't even realize it was Mother's Day coming up when I wrote this--it was just a conversation I was having. :) Funny how I feel so strong about it all year long and not just on Mother's day! Advice for 15--maintain your sense of humor and don't engage in drama.
Chuck--I'll pass it on, Chuck. Thanks!
Wen--And you are like the BEST mom I know!! So wear it proudly, pally! That school should be damn lucky to get moms like you and me on their side! :)
Marilyn--LOL! You know girls!! I remember being wacky at that age too, so it makes it easier to understand, but sheesh, it can be hard some days.
Pricilla--You cracked her up, pally! I'm gonna call her Emmmmaaaaa now. :)
LJ--Women do this all the time! Why???! That is exactly what my friend and I were saying--we shouldn't use "only" in front of mom EVER. It's the toughest job ever! Em was getting dressed when a package came in the mail from G'ma with that wacky swimsuit in it. Em HAD to put it on over her clothes and slippers. I'm not sure who decided to add the headband. That kid was SO proud of that outfit!! Can you tell??
Ann--I figure as long as they are sweet to everyone else that is okay. At least they are sweet SOMEWHERE!! ;) I just maintain a sense of humor at all times if possible.
Jodi--I can't imagine this times 3! Although maybe it would be easier because I wouldn't know any different. Boys are smelly--girls have drama. I'm not sure which is worse!
What a lovely little vision to have in your mind...the sweetness and innocence of that precious little face.
Happy Birthday to Em - and happy birth day to you too, Mom. :)
Violet--Yeah, and why does it go so fast???! You know. :)
Storm--I like that we share that day together. :) It's all a blur.....
great post! don't even get me started about my kids at that age! it took my son 10 years to get through puberty. they do come back and then you can't get rid of them. my absolute best thing in the whole entire world is being their mom. i LOVE being a mother. mine are 25 and 26 and i see them every single day and talk to them several times a day on the phone.
Jaz--That is so nice to hear that you still see and talk to them so often. It's also good to hear other moms saying that they like their kids--too many suck their teeth and roll their eyes, saying they can't wait to get rid of them. I was never one of those moms.
Happy Birthday to Em! I hope you both enjoy the birthday celebrations!
Blessed Birthday Em! You have a wonderful mom who always cares for you :)
I think maybe being a parent is the best thing anyone can be. I think people forget that having children is basically what life is all about.
Beaded Tail--Thank you (from Em)!! She came home with a bunch of balloons akin to the old man in "Up". I thought she was going to fly away. :)
Vanilla7--Awwww, thanks, pally! From the both of us. :)
Ratty--You know, you are very right with that simple statement. How do we lose that??
Look how sweet that face is! I was just thinking the other day that very rarely with my 10-year-old can I still see a quick flash of that baby face -- the three-year-old with squeezable cheeks.
I can see it pretty easily with my 7 and 4-year-old but the older they get the more their faces change. It's still fun, though, to have that memory packed away for easy reference.
Happy B-day Em! Your mom rocks the house!
Happy birthday to your little Em! And the 15 year old Em as well. Truer words were never spoken.
Belated Happy Birthday Em! :D
Being a Mom is the best job in the world. They say only a few were blessed to become mothers because it is a gift. You are given such huge responsibility by the Almighty. You are a "homemaker". I would always hear this term from one of my closest friends who I consider a big sister.
Congratulations for being a mom to Em- her one and only Mom. ^_^
CG--I know what you mean about their faces, they change so much. :( I do miss those sweet baby faces.....and cuddles.
Buggys--I know it's old, but they really do grow up too fast, don't they? Although some days are a lot slower than others. ;)
JuneZach--Choosing to be a mom is a huge choice, as well as choosing not to be one. Women have hard choices to make in life and the decision to have kids, for me, was the best I made in my lifetime. Second was the decision to stay at home with them. It's not for everyone, but I loved it.
Happy Belated B-day to Em! She looks so adorable in that little swimsuit.
Being Mom is a great job. And it never ends. I recently got to be Mommy again. My daughter had some minor surgery and her hubby had to go out of town a couple of days later. I nearly cried with joy when she asked me to come stay with her while he was gone. She's a beautiful, self-confident, accomplished woman of 33, but she still calls her Mom when she needs help. Isn't that the best? BTW, she's all healed up and doing just fine.
OMG, Lin, she was so adorable. She reminds me of Elliot, now I see why you're always saying that. What a cutie (and a snappy dresser!).
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