It's been a crazy week at work this week because 1) it was a National Holiday on Monday--Irene's birthday and 2) performance reviews are due.There are few people over the age of 10 who view their birthdays as National Holidays, and Irene is one of them. I'm glad it was her birthday and actually bought her a little gift to acknowledge it, but I didn't plan on an all day honoring of the occasion. Gees. Everyone was fussing and running over to hug her, while I had to sit there and smile, pretending that I wasn't jealous of all her attention. I hate when she's the favorite.
Well, you have to understand that on my birthday, they had the special cake and party on the day when I was off. Not kidding. Okay, so I work part-time and they didn't know when I'd be in, but couldn't they have asked me?? Ouch.
So, yeah, Monday was It's-Irene's-freaking-birthday-let's-celebrate-it-all-day Day. Ugh. I'm glad I only work to 2:00 each day, otherwise it would have been really irritating. Well, that and they had two different yummy cakes to celebrate her birthday, which made the whole event a little easier to swallow--no pun intended. I kinda forgave her after that.
Now that we got that out of the way, the performance reviews have been rolling into my email, which is always entertaining.
I help out with special projects in the HR department at work and one of my annual jobs is the collection of the performance reviews of the salaried employees. I keep track of whose we have received and are missing, if they are completed, and how well their goals have been achieved for bonus calculation. It is a ton of paperwork and I flip through them all without really paying any attention to anything more than the names, locations, and percentage amounts. Rarely do I read anything that is written because I just have to process so many.
Every so often, I do catch a glimpse of some odd things and then I giggle. I'm not even aware that I'm even reading these things or that I'm giggling to some of the comments. Irene lets me know that I'm chuckling out loud because I hear this:
"What's so funny?" I hear her over the cube wall.
"Self-esteem." I tell her. And I go on to explain how some over-confident nameless employee actually rated him/herself a Five X (XXXXX) in the "exceeds expectations" box. I mean, one X wasn't enough? You've actually got the nerve to do five X's??? I wonder if their boss agrees?
"Oh, I think I'm gonna use that next year" Irene says laughing.
"Yeah. Except you wouldn't be exaggerating, Irene. You are a XXXXX." I chuckle back.
I found the best one today, though--it read "I'm a pleasure to work with". I love that. Can you even imagine thinking that, more or less writing that about yourself on your review?? For your boss to read? Seriously. And is he/she truly a pleasure to work with?? I'm guessing he/she is the biggest pain in the ass in the office.
"Irene?" I call over.
"Yeah?"
"I am a pleasure to work with" I read it to her, cracking up.
"Yes. Yes, you are." She says back.
I love Irene. Have I mentioned that she is a XXXXX?
24 comments:
I wish I could say I was a pleasure to work with. Hah! I am quite sure that I'm a XXXXX, though. I'll have to use that one and see how well it goes over...
Thanks for the laugh before work. I might come back and read it again sometime around 2:30 when I'm feeling less than pleasurable. ;)
That's hysterical...but you know when they send around those kinds of things they are asking for it! LOLOL
You're a pleasure to read every day!
I dragged myself in 2 hours late yesterday after an all night stomach flu. Do I get points for that?
I don't know why but performance reviews make me wanna gag. Like that's going to make someone a better employee. More like back in school-did I get an A or not?
I AM a pleasure to work with and my boss IS a pain in the oh nevermind.
Ah, the under 25 crowd... their applications must be a complete RIOT! :D
Irene sounds like a cool lady. I'd celebrate her B-day all day, you bet. Especially if it meant free cake!
Oh Lin, you are an XXXXX too.
Me? I'm only a 30.
You know, XXL.
Have a good day.
I don't doubt that you are a pleasure to work with. Those evaluations are such crap! Self evaluations are nothing but trying to imagine the correct thing to say. Waste of paper I say!
Oh Lin! Can you give me 5 Xs on some good quality? I could use them. Just make out a form for me and give me good X karma!
Sorry they ate your cake without you. You certainly do sound like a pleasure to work with. I'd rate you XXXXX.
Those are great! I'm all for self confidence, but sheesh...!
I like the idea of my birthday being a national holiday. I think I should get balloons from the White House and a plane ticket to Mongolia. I'm just saying :)
Thanks for the encouragement on my blog yesterday! I really need it! I'm venturing into uncharted waters with this screenplay, my friend. I need all the cheering I can get!
Happy Wednesday,
Jen
I wish you are my boss Lin. Hire me please? :)
I too am one of those people whose birthdays is (ok, should be) a national holiday so I can totally relate to Irene. Good luck with the performance reviews. I don't work in human resources but hate that time of year.
Thankfully I never had to fill any of those out, but you gotta love all that self confidence. It really sounds like you love your job and the other employees so what a pleasure for you to go to work.
Hmmm, I am a pleasure to munch with but Abby is XX&%*&^%$#%&*
Can I put that in a family blog?
I always hated performance reviews. The company I most recently worked at was brutal because the Senior VP needed excuses not to give raises so he could keep most of the budgeted amount for raises for himself. (Yes, we all found out about that later, after he left in a blaze, stealing intellectual data, agents and allegedly some computer equipment.) I worked for the same company, different location, years before and my reviews were stellar, so I knew my reviews were bogus.
Nonetheless, those reviews have to be hysterical, because you know everyone tries to pump themselves up so they can get a good raise.
The employees evaluate themselves? And the point to that would be? Giving the HR department their laughs for the year...
I know for a fact that I am NOT a pleasure to work with. Everyone else I work with things they are perfect though. Maybe they don't like me because I tell them they aren't...lol
As for birthdays at work, I used to get cards or little gifts for everyone but they never did a dam thing of mine so I gave up. Not that I was giving the gifts just to get something back but they could have at least REMEMBERED when it was my birthday and said happy bday. Oh well, I'll go pout in the corner now....lol
I kid you not when I say that you probably are the most pleasurable person in the entire office to work with. It's a pleasure to blog with you too.
Performance evals are such crap. People don't fill them out seriously, come on.
I work from home so I'm a real pleasure to work with - at least that's what my furbabies tell me! If I had to work in the same office with my boss all year, I wouldn't be quite the pleasure and would probably be unemployed. She's a pain in the patooty!
Is that 'Sister' Irene?
Once of the reasons why I became a SAHM was because I'm a nightmare to work with!
Cute--I don't think I could write those words on my review--seems so bold! I mean, who can take that seriously?? Oh well, at least it gave me a chuckle.
Tracy--Yep! I wonder if their boss laughed like we did. :)
Helene--I don't like performance reviews either--they always have to find something bad. And funny, that's what I always remember.
Rebecca--Irene is a hoot. I write about her a lot here because we just have fun most days. She makes me laugh, so she's my favorite. Cake or no cake.
Chuck--LOL! Good one.
Buggys--They ARE ridiculous! I love how you have to rate yourself and then your boss rates you. What is with that???! Why bother??? I think it just makes you feel bad about yourself.
Sharky--That's what I love about this--that someone had that much self-esteem to rate themselves so high. I admire that on some level. And you are definitely a XXXXX gal, Sharky. :)
DG--Don't you love MY birthday?? Sheesh. Irene doesn't let me forget that party. Ever.
Jen--Oh, you are SO talented and you have this great opportunity right at hand. GRAB it, I say. Grab it and run with it!!! The offer is incredible!
Vanilla7--I'd hire you in an instant, Vanilla. And I'm a pleasure to work with! LOL!! You would be a lovely addition to the Lin/Irene team-o-fun.
Anne--Yeah, I don't like performance appraisals. I'm only Part-time, so I don't get one. Darn. :)
Jude--I earn next to nothing, but I have very flexible hours and total freedom with my work. Add to that I sit in the back room with two pallies, Irene and Jim, and we've got a happy gal. It's good to be part-time. :)
Pricilla--Well, I've got some of those at work too, but I don't like to talk about them. There are lots of jerks everywhere, but we have to enjoy the Irene's in the world. :)
Lola--I hate them too. They have to put negatives in there and I get that, but that's what I focus on then. I asked if I get one, but I don't because I'm part-time. Hooray!! yeah, but no raise either. Boo.
Grace--Well, you give your opinion on how you are doing and then your boss tells you how you are REALLY doing. It is silly, isn't it?? More paperwork, that's all.
Ann--I like being part-time because I'm not in the reindeer games. It's a good excuse not to be too involved with folks at work and get caught up in the gossip or drama. I pretty much just have fun with Jim and Irene who are in a whole different dept. from mine, so we really don't "work" together. So when we talk, it isn't about work too often.
Casey--Thanks, pally! And I think you are a pleasure too. :) Lots of folks don't get me or my sense of humor, so I don't think everyone thinks I'm fun, but I don't care. And that bugs them even more. hee! hee!
Beaded Tail--Offices in the best situations are difficult. I like working part-time because it is a good mix--I'm not there too often to get involved in the crap. And I'm waaayyy in the back, so I'm sort of out of sight too. I mean, if you have to go in, part-time is the way to go.
Irene sounds like fun :) LOL at the 5x's!
That is harsh -- they celebrated your birthday at work WITHOUT you? Damn.
I'm not gonna lie, *I* am a pleasure to work with. I am.
CG--Well, it was a group celebration for like 4 employees. But, 3 of the 4 were missing on the day they celebrated. You'd think somebody would check??? Geesh. I still take it personally. Uh, don't you work for yourself???
Yes, I do work for myself but that's beside the point.
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