As we are narrowing in on Col's college choice for next year, it seems fitting that we visited the alma mater this past weekend. Being around the 'ol stompin' grounds again brought back some great memories for both Joe and I. Like two sappy middle-agers, we walked the sidewalks and paths that we took over 20 years ago reminiscing about this person or that one, what we did and when, and how much fun it all was. Gees, those college years were great.College choices now are a lot harder to make these days. You have such pressure to have a great GPA, high ACT score and class ranking. There are "personal statements" to write and applications to be filled out with all of your accomplishments of your very short life so far. We didn't have all of this back in the day--you pretty much picked a school and went there. No fuss, no muss. We didn't plan for college starting in kindergarten and our parents certainly didn't start saving for our schooling the minute we were born. We went to school and we figured out the finances. Today is very different.
Yes, community college is the smart way to go if you are the least bit wary of finances--I did it and survived. I transferred to WIU two years later and fit right in--it worked and my classes transferred. But there was always those two "missing" years of being away at college that I will always miss. It was incredible to be a part of a university and I get giddy when I talk of my time at Western.
As I stood there Saturday, misty-eyed at the sight and sound of the WIU Marching Leathernecks playing our fight song, I knew this is what I want for Colin. I want him to be a part of something grand--wherever that may be. I don't know how I'm going to fund 4 years at college, but I'm going to do my best to see that he goes.
Do I want him home with me? Yes. Do I want him to be safe here? Yes. Do I want to make sure he is studying and working hard at school? Yes. But I also want him to live too. I want him to make choices--good and bad and live with the consequences. I want him to meet some great and some not-so great people and know the difference. I want him to meet students from other cultures and be introduced to thinking that is outside his own. I want him to feel a part of a great institution, whichever that may be. I want him to become the person he was born to be--and to do it without my hovering.
Most of all, I want him to stand at his alma mater and grow melancholy at the mere sound of his old fight song.
22 comments:
Lin -
It's emotional and scary to think of the concept of our kids going away to school. You seem to have it all resolved in your head. I have a few years, but I totally sweat it every day. I live in spitting distance of a large state university, so the siren's call of that is strong. But, what if it's not what's right for them? I dunno. I'm so not ready for this.
Going through the same here only my son elected to use the military to fund his education. As we speak, he's in basic training...planning to start college in the Spring. I'm scared to death. I hope everything goes as planned. But I definitely have a lot of things whirling around in my head.
What a proud and fearful moment in our lives! When we realize our little ones are going to be leaving us and living on their own. We want them to soar yet still need us. It's going to be fine and you are certainly getting it worked out.
I get misty eyed when I see the buildings at Millikin and don't even take my by the old ZTA Sorority House because that will really get the waterworks started! LOL!
I have another year before Zac gets serious about schools!! I will be calling you for advice on how to cope!!
Wish I was able to come to U of I this weekend! Zac will be marching but I am photographing a wedding!!
Wonderful memories and wishes. I wish I'd gone away to college. But, I was young and dumb and didn't. Maybe one day I'll return and *finally* finish that degree. Who knows! Good luck to Colin and all the decision making he has ahead of him.
Cheers!
Jen
You're at that crossroads and it's so scary!!! He'll end up in just the right place for him but you'll probably be the one crying at the fight song. :)
He has a solid grounding. From there on he will make his choices based on what he knows.
And he knows you and what you have taught him.
Not that he won't make mistakes; he has to or he won't learn. But he will always have you to come home to.
DG--It's hard because you think you know what is right for them, but they have very definite ideas of their own of what their college experience is going to be. Hard to let go, but you know it is best. I'm okay with that for some reason.
Roschelle--I understand your fear as that is a huge commitment that he has made. At least I know that my son can change his mind if something doesn't work out. That said, I'm not sure where all the money is going to come from! Yikes.
Buggys--Maybe move-in day will be different, but right now I'm excited for him to have the time away at school. In fact, I'm the one who encouraged him to go away versus community college. It may be a whole other story come next August!
Jo--Coping all depends on the kid and the parent. I, for one, am excited to see him go to college, although move-in day might be a whole other story. I think the worry factor is going to be off the meter then! I will miss you at U of I. What is his school name? I'll see if I can catch their performance.
Jen--Ah, if only we knew then what we know now!! Wouldn't life have been easier??? Ugh. No regrets though, you have to keep moving forward--I do. Although I do keep threatening to return to campus to get my grad. degree! Wouldn't that be fun!! :)
Violet--Oh, you are so SMART! Yep, I will be the one crying at HIS fight song. How true. :)
Pricilla--I'm not sure I want him to come home per se, but maybe just call to let me know he is okay. :)
It really depends on the kid and their needs. I spent years working at the private 4 year school that I attended as an undergrad and some kids are just really ready to have that full college experience. I now work at a community college and it definitely has its own set of advantages. Not just the cost but the convenience for those who aren't sure exactly where or what they want to do yet. I'm sure you will help your kids to make the right decision for them. But it really is there decision or should be. Don't get me started on the helicopter parents who refuse to allow their kids to make their own choices and send them out into the world with no decision making skills.
I remember being right were you are now Lin back in the Fall of 2007. When the spring of 2008 rolled in and Alee walked across the stage in her green cap and gown with cords around her neck; I knew we made the right decision to let her spread her wings and head to a 4-year university.
When I took her last Fall to college I never shed a tear. I was so excited for her to grow in this new chapter of her life. Sure I was poorer, am poorer because the higher institution of learning loves raping me of my paycheck. But...I don't think we would have it any other way.
It's amazing to see your child blossom. If you think they bloomed thus far, college is there bursting them to life.
It's all good pallie. All good!
I went to a Jr. College in Champaign-Urbana and I LOVED IT!!
The classes and teachers were awesome, and I really liked (most) everything being in the same area. I lived on the U of I campus with some church gals and we were kind of split 50/50 between those who did the 4 yr. and those who were Jr. College. I definitely did better on the financial end; some of my roomies had INCREDIBLE student loans. UGH!
It's fun to have those college memories and although it's only for a short period of time but they last forever. I went to a college in the town we lived in so it just felt more like an extension of high school to me. It's wonderful that Col will be able to have the true college experience and all that comes with it!
Aww, you two crazy lovebirds had fun at your old alma mater! I know what you mean, there's something magical and fun about the whole college experience. I went away to college but worked full time the entire time since my folks couldn't afford it. I feel like I missed out on the experience since I was always busy worrying about bills and such and I hope my kids don't have to miss out either.
Yes! Everyone gets misty-eyed. I have a Christmas ornament that plays the Florida Gators fight song, and I love it!
It is a tough call, but such a good one. It'll be fine, and you'll be such a great mom for letting him go. :)
Hi Lin- I just learned that the son of a good friend is thinking of going to my Alma Mater. I suddenly wanted all the things for Matt that you want for Colin... the four years of that experience. But he too is going to have to do 2 years at a CC. Hope you can make it work... that sense of community is great.
You have raised a wonderful son who's choices will be good ones because of you both. He may not cry during the fight song but I know you will. He's spreading his wings and boy, I know how hard that is. Hang in there!
Like a wise old man, Rod Steward once said "When you love someone, set them free"
College?! Already?!
Oy. I can't even imagine that day but my oldest kid is only 9. She just thinks she's going on 21.
Really, you felt you missed out living away for the first two years even though you did for the last two? I did live away all four years, but I just assumed two years away would compensate for the two at home.
Unless your home life was, uh, less than ideal.
Lenox--I couldn't agree with you more. I think we have to look at what is best for each kid and community college is a fabulous choice for many reasons. I don't know where we are going to end up next year, I just hope he is happy and successful in his choice. It's a lot harder these days to be a kid!
Jodi--I'm with you, I'm not sad for some reason. I think because I see him happy and excited. I don't need them to need me--I'd rather see them doing things on their own and forging their own path.
A. Marie--I did well at Jr College too, I'm not knocking it, but I think Col will die socially there because of the commuter aspect. That is my only reason for hoping to send him to a University. Each kid is so very different, so we have to figure out what is best for him. It is very hard to decide!
Beaded Tail--Why is it that college sticks with us for so long and not high school?? I just hope he is happy and has some fun while working towards his career.
Casey--And imagine the cost NOW!! Yikes. I think we are all going to have loans after the kids are done with college--it's awful. Like you, I had to work a bit, and I expect the same from my kids. That said, I will help them too so that they don't start out life in too much debt.
Cute--Love the alumni ornament! Isn't it funny how our college years stay with us forever?! :)
Sharky--I hope we can make it work--who knows? We'll have to start the whole financial aid process which makes me nauseous, but I'm sure the CC choice won't be a bad one if we go that route. It's so hard to do college these days, the costs are CRAZY!
Chocolate--Isn't that the mom's job to cry for all of those sentimental moments?? :)
Vanilla Seven--I think it was Sting, wasn't it?? :)
CG--Community College is hard socially because everyone is commuting and there isn't really the same crowd around all the time like a university. I was sad about that and had to work really hard to make new friends. When I went away, I really loved the school spirit and the social life that goes with football games and Homecomings that come with a University. Two years of that just wasn't enough for me! College comes up FAST--don't blink, CG!
Just you and me, and everyone else. I'm not looking forward to the day my kids leave the house, go to high school, off to middle school or their first day of school
Momstart--After awhile, you start to see your kids having fun with the other kids and doing things you never thought they'd do--so you let go and enjoy it by watching them. It takes years though, and soon, you are ready to let them fly on their own a bit. It's not easy, but the alternative of always taking care of them isn't good either.
funny thing. I've never gotten away from any of my fight songs.
My high school fight song was also used by my fist band, and my college fight song is the same one at the school i'm at now. so, i haven't had the chance ot get all emotional about it, except to let my kids hear how they sound with a 300+ piece band as opposed to 35...lol
no, hearing the alma mater, or just seeing the band, that's a different story with all sorts of emotions from sadness to wishing i was still out there
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