I figured out the other day what I am not good at--waiting. I'm not very tolerant of waiting for phone calls, for someone to make up their mind, for the kids to come out to the car after they have called for a ride, or for standing in line. I go nuts waiting for someone to help out the lone cashier at a crowded store. I lose it when I've got to stand in a slow-moving line anywhere. And I absolutely refuse to stand there and wait just for the opportunity to try clothes on in the dressing room.
I will not wait in any line longer than 3 people unless I am absolutely forced to. I refuse to wait to purchase such things like bread and buttons--it reeks of Communism and I say so. And I grow impatient waiting in an exam room at the doctor's office for more than say 10 minutes. That crinkly paper and gown irks the bajeepers out of me, so let's get the show on the road.
As I stood there in line for the restroom the other night at the Sox game, I was growing crabbier by the second. Em was all "Chill, Mom" which made me even more crabby.
"Do you know what you are, Mom? Crabby." she had the nerve to announce to me on my birthday.
"Yeah, well, do you know what you are?" I responded all miffy. "Complacent. And a smart-mouthed brat."
"What does that mean?" she asks.
"It means that you love to stand in line. That this line of 50 women is perfectly normal and acceptable. I don't think it is acceptable that the men's line is non-existent and here we stand." I was going off like Lucy Van Pelt of Charlie Brown fame. "This is Communism. People should not have to stand in line for hours to pee. I'm just saying."
"It's not 'hours'. Look the line is moving." she points out hoping I'll quit the rant already.
"Whatever. Don't talk to me. Just keep the line moving." it was all I could do to end this happy line-stander from annoying me.
Now I understand there are certain situations that warrant a line, and I will gladly stand there. Like when I met Tim Gunn. I needed time to figure out what the hell I was going to say to him, so that wait was relished. Standing in line for a bratwurst at the game is okay too--but only because they have some smart beer vendors who appease me by selling me a cold one while I wait. I'll also stand in line at the Wisconsin State Fair for a cream puff because that line moves fast and your reward is just heavenly.
See? I'm not totally unreasonable.
31 comments:
You met Tim Gunn?!?!?!
JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!! May I touch the hem of your smartly tailored garment?
I hate waiting too, but I am better about it now than I was ten or fifteen years ago. Back then it made me positively scrappy. Some of the mellowing that comes with age is good. It keeps me out of trouble.
Lin, you ARE crabby.
Next time I take M to the spine center for her check-up wanna go in my place? You can wait, get an x-ray, wait some more, get the x-ray move to another room,wait even more, and wait and wait, then get in an exam room where you wait some more, they send in a med student do some measurements and wait even more till finally a real doc arrives...waiting total time three to four hours.
I'll trade your White Sox pee time for my spine center wait. Deal pallie?
Ooh! Don't you just hate that when your kids call you crabby? Sometimes it's just worse when instead of calling you crabby, they give you 'the look'.
I hate waiting! The older I get the worse it gets!
I guess I don't mind it so much. What I don't like is when you get behind people who just don't care that there's anyone else behind them and they seem to have a billion gazillion coupons and forgot something in the dairy aisle (which is always on the other side of the shop) and have to walk back to get it. Now THAT'S annoying!
And why is it that guys don't have lines in their bathrooms? Hmmmm, it's a mystery...
well...guess I am more like Em, because the line does move pretty quick at the games...
if the venders were really smart they'd just stand by the woman's bathroom selling more beer to chug and then pee out when you finally get to a stall. :D
I don't mind standing in line if Bill's there to entertain me otherwise I get bored.
Yeap, you ARE CRABBY and I love your crabbiness. I'm prickly and crabby and constipated.
A few years ago I waited in line to meet Michael Flatley. Looking around me at the scantily clad women with sequins and well, things trying to hang out, I realized maybe I was a bit under dressed for him and when I got to him I told him that. He took my face in his hands and in his fake Irish accent true Chicago-born self said "na, ya not!". That was a line worth waiting in.
Also got to meet Walt Willey (don't miss his show if you haven't seen it) and Wally Kurth-helped him at an appearance he did.
My favorite is waiting an hour at the doctor's office for the 30 seconds they spend with you. Or the over 12 hours my son waited at the ER with everyone saying someone would be right in and they never were so he finally left-that was at one of our "best" hospitals here.
I'd wait in line for as long as it took to meet Hobbes...
P.S. Stand in line with a chatty 4 year old. Gwamma Gwamma GWAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA. Then again he did introduce me to my neighbor's gorgeous son who I later found out I went to high school with for 4 years and never knew. He's a doctor now. Divorced.
I HATE waiting in line to use the ladies room. It is harder to hold it as you get older! There should be a rule that all young gals go at the back of the line, so that the older ladies can pee first!
So I should call you Crab Cakes? Naw! It just doesn't fit you at all!
When we were living in Costa Rica, I complained to a Tico friend that everywhere I went I had to stand in line. His reply was, "No sabes que nuestro himno nacional es 'Haga la Cola'." (Don't you know, our national anthem is, "Form a Line.")
I'm with Hot Rocks - younguns' to the back of the line! I hate waiting in line for anything but I don't get crabby, I get uber antsy. Sometimes I feel like a Jitter Critter waiting in line, I get so antsy! Do you suppose that's some sort of "syndrome"?
Hi Lin -- Tim Gunn is awesome!
And yes, I agree with you and Tom Petty -- I despise waiting.
Waiting makes me an Alaskian King Crab...
Sue
Great post
I refuse to wait in a line for dinner. Refuse. If it's going to be more than 5 minutes I am out of there. I would rather cook it myself. And if I made a reservation and they make me wait - you should hear my chat with the manager.
Other than that I am not too bad. Although I agree about the bathroom line disparity. I have been known to tuck into a men's room. That scares the crap out of them. heh heh
Guess who is gonna be getting some soap soon? 'Cause this goat is watching some good tv!
:) LOL... I think we were separated at birth. ROFL. I've gotten a little better with waiting; I just distract myself with daydreaming or reading a magazine or book, but if I have to sit too long then someone better say something or do something or move something or I'll be CRABBY too. I think my forced patience has come about due to the physical manifestation of stress that occurs. It's like payback. I hear in my head: "Don't get mad or you'll regret it and be in more pain." Stupid body.
Oh, I digress. An-t-way, I don't blame you, but I'm sure you should stop venting in the ladies' room line. Doesn't that make you have to pee more? LOL
I'm not too bad waiting in some lines but at baseball games I'm like you...it drives me nuts. I've been tempted to go to the mens toilets. I mean, what are these women doing?? Reading War and Peace? Of course, it doesn't help that they usually have half the number of stalls for us women even at some of the newer ballparks.
Not crabby at all - Patience is NOT one of my virtues. And I have been known to use the men's room
Oh, I totally agree. I can't STAND waiting for basic things. I don't mind so much when I know I'm going to have to wait, cuz I'll have a book or something to pass the time, but waiting like in a checkout line drives me nuts.
It depends on what I am waiting on and why the waiting occurs. I hate it when I go to a store and the line is backed up because the cashiers are talking to each other or someone steps in just to ask a question.
Why do I break out in a smile every time someone mentions Tim?
I can't stand waiting in lines at a store - hate it, hate it, hate it! Oh and the line to get on a Southwest Airlines plane - can't stand it! I don't get to many games so probably wouldn't mind that since I'd just be so happy to be there.
Why did you have to close your post with that "brag" about meeting Tim Gunn? Personally, I don't see the relevance. You just wanted to mention it to all of us jealous folks, didn't you! Hahah...jk of course.
I heard one time that we spend YEARS of our life just sitting in traffic waiting for the light to turn. That's the worst. Woman's bathrooms are horrible too though. I tend to just skip on over to the men's line...or go outside if no one is watching...shhh.
DG--Oh, yes--and I've posted my photo with he and I together. It's somewhere in here--gotta look. Maybe my end of the year synopsis?? Take a look there. I don't know if there are enough years to tame me, DG.
Violet--And damn proud of it!! Too bad Crabby Blogging Lady was already taken for a blog name!
Jodi--Sounds like you need to smuggle some cocktails in on that wait or something, Jodi. Okay, but at least you know the wait is coming and you can prepare. I made many a quilt square in those situations. For me, it is the daily waits that annoy the crap out of me. Next time you wait--you think of me and chuckle!
Lola--I also HATE it when someone says "Relax". Yeah, no. That's the LAST thing I'm gonna do then!
Jo--Thanks for the back-up, sistah!! Waiting sucks.
Jen--That whole restroom bit is crazy. Can they not build new buildings (and stadiums) with more ladies rooms??? Hello??!
Stacie--Oh gees, Pollyanna. I do like the beer man in the potty line idea!
Jude--Yeah, it's more fun if you have someone to experience the misery with, isn't it?? Yeah, Bill!
Veronica--Another crabby sistah!! Hooray. It's more fun being spunky, isn't it?? Keeps the riff-raff away. :)
Helene--I LOVE your Michael Flatley story!! That is so sweet! And he wasn't someone that I would expect to be so kind. Nice!
Rocks--Look at you makin' new rules!! Great idea!! But, do I have to announce my age or are they just gonna guess??
Chuck--(Now I'M thinking Peppermint Patty too!) That's funny! You always have a good story.
Split Rock--Yeah, it's the I-hate-to-wait Syndrome. I've got it too.
Sue--Wow! A king crab??! That's pretty darn crabby. :) We're gonna make some really good old ladies, aren't we??
Pricilla--Oh, I forgot about going out for dinner. I hate that wait too. It shouldn't be. I think most times they just want you to go to their bar and spend the money.
I am horrible with waiting too. I get very cranky very quickly over it. I am waiting on a call back from a repair man right now and I want to SCREAM!!!
I'm with you, sister. I won't wait in line for more than two people ahead of me, will hold it instead of waiting for the bathroom and just all around hate people in general. Except you. We's cool.
What? Your birthday? I've been absent a few days and you see what I miss? Happy bday!
Petula--I don't mind waiting if it is expected--like the dentist where they have magazines. It is the places where you shouldn't need a book or a magazine--like the little exam room, bathrooms, stores, etc. I have no patience for not having enough workers or toilets.
Theresa--That's my point--when they built the Cell a few years back, why didn't they put in more ladie's rooms than men's rooms??? Duh??!
Grace--I hate all those serene sheeple who sit there willingly waiting. Arrgghh! I don't think I'll ever be able to tolerate that. Ever. Glad to know I'm in good company. :)
Christy--(fist bump) Yes! You got it!! I don't mind the waiting when I am prepared and expect it!! It is the never-ending line at Best Buy that makes me want to kill someone. Ugh.
Merry--No kidding about Tim. LOVE that man. And he is just as you imagine him to be in person. I treasure that moment. And I didn't have to wait too long to see him. :)
Beaded Tail--Store lines are the WORST! And Best Buy--I HATE that store because that line is like Communist Russia back in the day. ALL the time!! Ugh.
Nancy--Have I mentioned that I met Tim Gunn recently??! I did. AND I have a sweet photo of him and I. :) Tee! Hee! And yes, wouldn't it be lovely if we could claim all that waiting time on our deathbeds??
Stephanie--OoooH! You NAILED it! Repairmen and Cablemen are the WORST. I hate waiting for something to be delivered between 3 and 5 and it shows up at 6:00!!! ARrrgghhhh!
Casey--Don't worry about the b-day--I didn't want to celebrate it much. Ugh. And I'd rather walk around the store than go stand in a line longer than 3 folks. Time is money, people!! Get moving!!
For all the media stories I have to say he was really just a nice guy who happens to be extremely rich and talented. He made me feel like I was talking to a friend. That is until he did that face in the hands thing and I started bouncing off the wall, babbling and making a complete fool of myself after the picture. He just stood there smiling with his hand out like you can come back and talk to me cos I truly was all over the place like he electrocuted me or something.
waiting in line for me either has to mean sugar or Tom Petty.
Lin and Lola I hate more when the kids tell me the cause of my behaviors or body temp is menopause. It is at that point that "relax" or "crabby" sounds soothing. LOL
nice blog
Helene--You know, that completely surprises me after all that I had heard about him. There is a lot to be said about how they treat their fans, and I'm so glad that he did not let you down. Nice. :)
Margo--LOL. I actually waited in line for Tom Petty tickets once. Ironically the concert tour was for his album "The Waiting". Hmmmmm.
Jodi--Oh yeah, I'm with you on this one!
dihan--Thank you. :)
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