The past few days have been incredibly stressful and my mind is weary. I've been "fighting the power"--otherwise known as school administration, in trying to get my kid out of a nasty teacher's class. I'm not going into detail here, but let's just say that switching teachers is out of the question, and my kid "sucking it up" or switching to a lower level class is the only available solutions to the situation. He'll " be a better student for it". Or so they say. Sigh. Again, may I reiterate that unions and tenure should be against the law? There is nothing more wonderful than a good teacher, and nothing worse than a bad one. I'm just saying.In all of this, I turn to Phyl. Girlfriend has logged like a cabillion years working in various school districts and knows the ropes like a pro. My mom has a way of filling me in on the details on how best to maneuver about the system like Pac Man eating up all those little dots. We've heated up the phone lines like no tomorrow, and then continued the discussion shopping for the likes of purses and fall coats at the mall the other night.
So, as we were touching this bag and that one, Phyl starts telling me some story about turning in her "coin" at the bank. She was making more money on her coin than she did on some of her investments, she laughed. And what killed me is my mom's use of the term "coin". She totally didn't use the phrase "change" or "coins"--nope. My mother actually used the term "coin" like she was hangin' with Snoop Dog. The hell?!
Then yesterday, here we were, discussing the subject at hand (again) and she starts with "he's gonna take her off" or something similar. I don't remember the exact phrase because it caught me so off guard. So, while I'm all foamed up about the situation at hand, G'ma is dissin' the principal and telling me how's he's take up the issue behind the scenes with this dame. She was consoling me with hip hop lingo! My mother!
And then I lost it. I cracked up and said "Mom! What's with the lingo?!". To hear my mom using gangsta lingo like a pro was killing me. And she used the terms in correct form and syntax. G'ma Phyl was hip to the scene--go figure.
This is my life. Wacky kids, goofy husband, cat who thinks he's an ottoman, and my mother who is gansta at 70. Sigh.
I'm hoping she isn't sporting some grills the next time I see her.
25 comments:
Your Mom sounds pretty cool, wish you luck with your school problem. Sounds like your district creates a lot of problems for it's students. Hope your daughter doesn't have the problems she had last year.
Yo, what's that they say about da apple never falling far from da tree? Fran's Dad
Does your Mom have cable? Maybe she's been watching a bit too much MTV.
Daisy's "mom" here:
Ha! My mom is just the opposite! One time, after a woman had been really, really rude to my mom, she finally turned to the woman and said "I swear, some people don't have the brains God gave a goose!" Good one, mom!
I'll never forget the day my mom held up her hand and proclaimed, "Talk to the hand!" I knew she was watching too much Jerry Springer.
When I was a kid, I had several good and bad teachers, including a few very bad ones like you allude to. My sister just went through some things with her daughter's teacher. These are things nobody should have to put up with. It's good that your mom keeps you laughing.
Your mom is okay! Does she have a posse?
muahahahah this is so funny!
That's hilarious. Glad G-dawg is lookin after her scrilla, cause sometimes the older folks don't have the cheddar. But if mom has mad coin then she is money.
I think I love your mom. My dad tries to use the hip lingo but he fails miserably. It's hilarious though and I think that's what he was going for.
Sorry to hear about the bad teacher. I worked in the school system for several years and I've seen some grade A jackholes get away with murder since they were tenured. Ugh.
Your mom is aging backwards and I heartily approve of it! :)
That's terrible about the teacher situation. I've gone a round or two myself but in my case I had the whole summer to get it fixed and it took the "whole" summer before they finally decided to get me off their backs. ;)
I want to hang with your mom.
Awesome mom :-) Wayyyyyyyyyy cooooooooooool
Ok so I'm a few years, errr decades behind her with speaking.
OMG. I love your mom. My parents couldn't be any squarer. Coin. Hilarious!
Heh heh
I am sorry for your son's difficulties. I, too, believe that tenure is wrong. The bad teachers just keep sliding along and that hurts the children trying to learn.
My three sisters in law are teachers.
Sounds like you have a great mom!
Your Mom cracks me up. Yo Phyl! I am sorry to hear Col has a nutty teacher. His senior year is already stressful enough for you without that mess. Back in my past life (when I worked in the schools), there are some horrendous teachers in the system. Tenure, plus being in with the principal, let them do what they wanted.
Oh my....lmao....funniest thing I've heard in ages. As long as your mother doesn't start wearing her pants hanging down beneath her undies then it's all good! Maybe Phyl and her homies can sort out the teacher for ya.
Interested to see the list of sarcastic classroom rules- will you post it or would that be "inappropriate"? Go your mom too!
Shoot, Moms got it goin' on, 'sayin'.
Keep on showing your face at the school until they get tired of seeing you.
There's nothing more miserable than having to deal with a teacher that should've been fired or retired. I knew of a teacher that talked to Smurfs, yet, the district wouldn't let her go because she had been there for so long.
I hope Colin hangs in there.
LOL at your Mom! I'm dying here!
Seriously, I hope you get Colin out of that class. Raise hell, Momma!
Jude--It's a mere bump in the road, Jude. I reached a fair compromise today. I think they're afraid I'll unleash hip-hop G'ma on them!
Fran's Dad--LOL! I don't think I have that lingo down as well as she though.
Lola--Maybe it's that senior work-out at the pool! I think they're all dissin' each other.
Daisy--Score for MOM!! I can't wait to be an old woman when "spunk" is a revered thing!
JD--That is hilarious!! I can just see it in my mind! I hope she wasn't doing that to YOU.
Ratty--Phyl cracks me up but she also knows the ins and outs of school administration. Teacher unions are too strong--it should be easier to remove a bad teacher, but sadly there isn't. Good teachers should be greatly rewarded and bad teachers should lose their jobs. I wish your sister luck. I'll give her G'ma's number if she needs some back up. Grills or no grills. :)
Chuck--No, but I'll bet she's got some brass knuckles!
Stacie--Sigh. That's my mom.
DG--I don't know what the hell you wrote there, but I'll have G'ma translate and I'll get back to you.
Casey--Okay, I've got a hip-hop mom, but you've got a somersaulting dad! I hope I'm half as cool when I'm a G'ma!
Violet--Yes, Mom is a hoot. Which I'm not sure if that is good or bad! :) This school stuff brings out the Mother pig in me. Look OUT!
Buggys--She's available on Tuesdays, right after Senior Swim and volunteering at the animal shelter.
Helene--Even I didn't know what she was saying there for a bit! I've got to bone up on my lingo to keep up with her!
Kathy--And the next time you hear that phrase you're gonna think of G'ma Phyl. :) Don't you wonder where she picked that up??
Pricilla--I've learned a LOT about teachers and school admin. over the years--and it is not all good. Sad, isn't it? We got a good compromise today, so I feel like a little victory was had. Compromise is good.
Merry--I feel like there is absolutely no recourse against a bad teacher. Even the school board seems to be "in on things". And they wonder why education is in the crapper. Sigh.
Theresa--LOL! I can see her with her droopy drawers and hat on sideways!! Thanks for the visual.
Nancy--Is your email on your profile?? I'll email them to you if you send it to me. I don't want to share it over the blog. Someone in this situation has to be professional. I would love to hear your take on it.
Chocolate--We reached a better compromise today, so I have a little victory! Funny how the solution came when I asked for a copy of the policy that states a transfer to another teacher is not allowed. Today it was downgraded to a "guideline". Frustrating.
Storm--See above. I'm like a mother pig when it comes to my kids. But I also have to walk the line of not being ridiculous too. G'ma helps with that. I may have to start giving out G'ma's number for all her admirers here!
That's pretty funny! Who has she been hanging out with?
Petula-- I have no idea, but I'm not asking! :)
You totally have to put her real name in to come up with her Gangsta name! Sweep the Leg, sistah!
Your mom is of a rare breed! LOL. That is the kind of gal I would love to hang out with.
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