Nathan Hale Middle School's version of "The Tortoise and The Hare"

These two are at it again--cracking me up. Life is definitely spiced up by the Em/Caroline combination and I wait for the next tale to unravel.

Em's heading off to school this morning when she drops the bomb that she's in the spelling bee today. "Do you want me to be there?" I ask, sort of knowing the answer already. "Hannah's terrified her dad will show up with the camcorder again." she says flatly. I guess "no" was her answer--I'm getting better on teen-speak and deciphering what she is really saying beyond the words she utters. So, I wish her luck, share a chuckle about the spelling bee, and send her on her way.

I hate Em's school. It just seems to get more and more pathetic as time rolls on, and I am literally counting the days until she is out. I'm disgusted at the level of education and the catering to certain ethnic groups. "Celebrate Diversity" the sign says over the gym, which like the teen-speak jargon really means "Celebrate Only Certain Diversities". I keep heckling/suggesting to the Superintendent that we really need to have a Baltic States Heritage Celebration, but he just rolls his eyes.

The spelling bee is no exception to the catering. Emma and her friend, Hannah, are excellent students--tied for number one in the class. I'm not bragging, it is not my accomplishment--it just makes a point for the story.

Every year, the teachers dredge up some long-forsaken souls to "win" the spelling bee, and it is never the kids who are truly talented. Names appear on the winner's list that I have never heard of before, and I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I think a kid from special ed took the crown last year. It is more about being ethnically aware and pushing some kids to the top that otherwise would never see such glory otherwise. I'm okay with that--every award cannot be won by just the two top girls, they need to spread out the accolades so as to not "discourage" the rest of the student population. Why they don't actually teach the rest of the kids to excel is another question, but I think it might be asking a little much of everyone involved.

Anywho, Em comes home to give the full report, and I wait to give her the speech about "letting some other kids win for a change". She starts out with her placing (fifth), and Hannah's placing (third), and goes on to name the winners. Poor second-place kid's mom shows up at the middle school to cheer him on and now is officially on the social suicide top 10 list. "Stephen got words like 'it' and 'the', " she says, "while Hannah and I were given 'existentialism' or 'perihelion'!" She's miffed "It was sooo rigged," she continues, "no wonder the idiots win! It's a complete set-up!" Yeah, she understands completely for only being thirteen and eight months. She's empathetic and kind, and Em doesn't mind the loss--it's the ridiculousness of the whole charade that she cannot tolerate.

Back in the classroom, her English teacher continues to have her own spelling/language bee to include everyone--you know, so nobody feels excluded. Hands were shooting up left and right, eager to answer and beat out the group of smart girls who usually win all of the time. One particular knucklehead keeps his arm half up, sorta like he's scratching his back so that when the teacher finishes the question, he's got a milli-second edge on anyone else to get his arm in the air. He's killing and his score sails.

"Ha! Ha!" he's laughing like a fool, "It's like the 'ol turtle race and I'm the rabbit!" he's boasting. The rest of the class roars in confident arrogance.

Leave it to Caroline, she quietly replies "The rabbit loses, you idiot".

Somehow I think rigging the spelling bee isn't helping anyone.